Sha's TRI-scapades

Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but Bikes and Clips excite me

2011-06-13T23:53:00.005-05:00

I took Optimus for a spin after what seemed like a lifetime. After months of being busy with being busy, I finally decided that I had to start training. For whatever reason, when I pursue my other life passions, personal fitness is the sacrificial lamb.

When I began training again, the easiest activity to start was swimming, but the most exciting was biking! After strapping on my bike shoes, I literally dusted off the cobwebs and filled the near-flat tires with air. As I guided Optimus out from the darkness of my garage into the sunny outdoors, sweet (and sour) memories of bike workouts and races flooded my mind. Has it been 4 years since I first tri-ed? I set modest goals for biking – to just get reacquainted with my bike and reclaim the joy of biking.

Traffic was thin in my neighborhood and I used the opportunity to flout all kinds of road courtesy and safety rules. Don’t try this at home, folks. I smiled, recalling how Cha and I would sneak past Stop signs on Shoal Creek when there was no traffic just so that we wouldn’t have to unclip from our pedals. (I can see you shuddering, Coach A). When I wasn’t comfortable, I hopped off my bike and walked – and quickly remembered how hard it was to do so with clips, and was a big reason I refused to walk any portion of the bike leg of races. Arvind, who had gone for run, planned his route so that it intersected with mine (he refuses to admit that he was keeping tabs on me, but I know better). It was even more encouraging to see him running alongside. I called out, “I hope I will ride faster than you can run!” He replied supportively, “You’re blowing right past me, baby!” And off I went on my merry way, feeling the hot summer breeze against my face.

I had a modest start to tri-training last week (1K swim, 4 mile bike, 5 mile run) – but most importantly, I started.

My first Olympic Distance!

2009-09-07T23:15:00.000-05:00

Finishing time: 4hours 8min :)

A Full Circle

2009-09-06T20:46:00.006-05:00

It's hard to believe it's the night before my target race - the Austin Triathlon. I first signed up for the race in April, and prepared over the last 4-5 months for my first Olympic Distance. It's amazing how quickly time passes, and it's insightful to observe the ups and downs of training which in many ways parallels life itself.

As I look back on my training this year, I've learnt quite a few hard lessons.

1. Overcoming fear of open water

This was by far one of biggest learnings. I remember how debilitating the fear was 5 months ago, and just other day, as I swam effortlessly and fearlessly in Barton springs, I felt free. On hindsight, I had made a mountain out of a molehill in my mind, and it was only when I gained control over my thoughts, was I able to see how mistaken I was. When I gained clarity and calm, swimming became the joy it once was when I was a child.

2. Race nutrition

The Sweet & Twisted Tri turned out to be a huge wake-up call in this respect. I crashed and burned at the tri because I had not eaten wisely the day before the race. On race morning, I could not keep anything down. I started the race on an empty stomach, and by the time I got on the bike, my energy completely tanked. On the run, I barely had the energy to run and felt nauseous. It was a hard race in other ways too - the heat got to me & the bike seat had not well-adjusted. After the race, I felt really overcome and my confidence took a hit. I remember sitting down with Coach A and going over the race in great detail. Finally, I asked if he thought I could actually do the Olympic Distance. He put it plainly, "Of course you can! Sha, you "bonked" at S&T. You had no fuel, and you need learn how to eat right during the race. If you don't put anything into your system, how do you expect it to anything for you?" Feeling like a trainwreck, I retreated inwards and focused more on training. I dealt with my negative energy and learnt to move on. I trained hard the week following S&T mostly to shake off the negativity. After regaining some confidence during training sessions that followed, I felt better.

3. Reclaiming the joy of Tris

While this may sound silly, but I think somewhere along the way, I stopped having fun during tri training. Several times, Arv would watch me struggle through an ardous bike ride or long run, and say, "Are you having fun yet?" Truthfully, I did not. I felt the training was necessary but tedious. After the Sweet & Twisted Tri, particularly, I became conscious of this, and went back to my core reasons for tri-ing. I also read my previous blog posts from my first season, and realized that although training had been challenging, I genuinely had fun getting through the challenges. I examined the reasons why my thinking had changed, and began to reclaim my joy of doing triathlons. I became mindful of when I felt like the training was a drag, and shifted my mental energy to more positive thoughts. Arv as always was my pillar - he chided me when I slacked, encouraged me when my confidence plummeted, coached me when I felt unsure of how to train and most of all, reminded me when I had forgotten the joy of tri-ing.

I've walked a long way on this path, and in some ways, I feel like I've come a full circle. But perhaps, that's best destination of all - to return to your Self and see the same world of Tris with new eyes.

I've set no timegoals for my first-ever Olympic Distance. And I'm already celebrating - I know how far I've come from my first season in 2007 (when I had initially thought about doing an OD), and feel so much better prepared for the race - that in itself is a great feeling!

And as Coach A put it, when you do a new distance for the first time, you already know you're going to PR. :)

This Race is Yours, and Yours Alone.

2009-08-28T14:25:00.002-05:00

(Inspirations from Bhaja Govindam)

Will you help me cross the finish line, my friend?
We’ve played together, trained together and ran many miles together.
Won’t you stay a while until I finish my race?

“I would if I could, dear friend... but this race is yours, and yours alone.”

Crossing the finish line, I felt a sense of freedom,
independence, and peace within..
that I had made it, and did it alone.

Will you journey on this Path with me, my teacher?
You’ve taught me, nurtured me and given me the strength to come this far.
Won’t you walk with me until I realize the transient nature of life?

“I can’t and I won't, dear student… my absence, not my presence will help you attain this knowledge. This Path is yours to walk, and yours alone.”

So I walked and walked,
reflecting on this wisdom,
Until I came across my own reflection in a lake,
And there I stood stunned, when I saw that I was truly alone.

Will you be with me forever, my love?
We’ve shared our joys and sorrows, trials and tribulations together.
Won’t you live this life with me for always?

“This moment is ours, and I can’t promise you more than this. This life is yours to live, and yours alone.”

Going through life, I began to see
the world seemed like an easier place to live in,
when I accepted being truly alone,
And I depended on myself, and myself alone.

Learning from the Fish (or Facing My Fears Part II)

2009-05-18T22:34:00.014-05:00

Barton Springs Pool, Austin, TX

My usual trepidation began as I set out for my open workout yesterday evening at Barton Springs. I had a near accident on the highway getting there while asking Arv about how deep 30ft was. As I was driving, I pointed to the height of the freeway to get an idea of the depth, veered into another lane and nearly skidded. After the drama, Arv looked at me wryly and said "you need to stop thinking about swimming when you're driving!"

Just as I got ready to get into the springs, I met a friend of mine and we chatted. As I expressed my trepidation at looking at the depth of the lake, my friend said something that struck me, "when you look inside and see the fish hanging out, it's really pretty cool! You'll feel like you're flying..." I thought about for sometime. The idea of flying held for me a great sense of freedom. It put me in a contemplative mood.

My plan was to swim 800m with the pull buoy and REALLY look into the clear springs. I had never dared to look inside (and usually got away with keeping my eyes closed or head straight ahead). With security of a floating device, I figured even if I panicked, I would not struggle in the water and feed my fear further. This plan worked like a charm. It really gave me an opportunity to peer into the depth of the springs. At one point, I just stopped stroking and floated.. observing the fish below. I was reminded of what Steph told me me last year, how amazing it was to watch life underwater when you really paid attention and observed. Most of the fish moved away from me hurriedly. A few others lay very still. I was calmed by their stillness. Some looked at me inquiringly. And it dawned on me that if such little fish could be so comfortable in the water, I did not have anything to fear. (except arguably my mind!)

After that, I did another 400m unassisted. I felt myself gliding through the Springs, using very little effort. I realized that the reason I had gasped and usually felt tired after open water swims was because I expended a lot of energy in the process of panicking - breathing deeply, irregularly, heart rate racing, all of it drained my energy. If I could stay calm, and just swim, I would not be as exhausted.

Towards the end of it, I still swam a little cautiously, no doubt. But I had learned from the fish. To be in the water as they were.. practicing stillness. Within.

Ruminations on the Rookie

2009-05-13T11:54:00.008-05:00

I met my goals for the Rookie! YAAY!

I had created the mental picture of my goals and as I did them, I "checked" them off in my head and gave myself encouraging words on the tri. This kept my spirits up during the tri.

Since I did not have any specific time goals, just a general "hope-to-do-better-than-my-first-tri", I did not wear my watch. I usually avoid that anyway, because looking at the clock is more stressful and takes some of the fun out of it for me. ( I can see you Garmin-and-what-not users balking as I write this..) I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I had shaved off about 8 minutes from my first tri. Considering I took a year-long break from training, I'm quite pleased with the result.

Here are some short notes:

1. SWIM

I've said for the 100th time now, but the lake was DISGUSTING. A foul stench emanated from the lake as we jumped in. I was a little distracted by the smell and struggled a little initially to focus on swim. Fortunately, I was calm about swimming in the deep. I found myself veering off course when I did freestyle, so I used breast-stroke to re-navigate. There's still a lot of improvement but the important thing is that I finally put my head in the water and did free-style (and that too, in a filthy lake)! :) I took about 10min 23s to finish it.

What worked well is that during my swim practice the day before, I practiced my routine - mental & physical for how I would swim - how I would breathe, how I would mentally chant, and the rhythm of the two. Once I figured this plan, it was easy to execute on the actual day.

2. BIKE

Gearing & hydrating on the bike were my two focal points, and I didn't care much about the speed (though I was happy to note later that my speed had improved). I took pains to find exactly the right gear for the moment, and stayed alert throughout the course to get a feel for gearing (as opposed to switching off mentally while coasting down the hills).

And yes, I hydrated on the bike - 3 times!!! I slowed down, reached for the bottle, pulled it quickly, took a few swigs, and put it back into the cage. It sounds very basic when I spell it out this way, but it does take quite a bit of balance to do this right. anyway, this made me particularly happy because it was an indication that both my balance and confidence had improved. As bike distances get longer, I know now that I can stay hydrated on the bike, and this will surely help me down the road when I train for my Olympic Distance tri.

3. RUN

Was not great. I didn't walk, thankfully. And frankly, the first mile for me is extremely tough but I warm up after 2 miles or so. The trouble with super sprint distances is that by the time you're actually warmed up, it's done. I'm not a sprinter and generally do better on long-distances rather than short ones. So this was tricky for me.

It did make me wake up to the fact that I need to pay more attention to my running and build my endurance over the summer. The heat and humidity are huge factors in one's performance, and I could have been definitely been better prepared. Admittedly I've gotten lazy about running. The challenges of swimming and biking tend to occupy most of my focus, so running has been on the back burner. Additionally, this past half-marathon season was so disaster-stricken that I did not really have a chance to train well - and it showed.

Overall, however, the Rookie was a great kick-off to my tri-season, and hopefully it sets the mood for the rest of the tris I'm planning for the season. (more about races soon.. dun dun dun dun...)

Be The Rookie!

2009-05-06T10:11:00.012-05:00

The Rookie is on May 10, just 3 days away. Texas Ski Ranch is definitely one of my favourite courses. I did my first race there, and the shallow pond is a great way of getting used to open water.

This is going to be my warm-up tri - and also my first full tri since Oct 2007. (Last summer, I did a relay tri, so I don't really count that.) So, I'm excited and happy to be back in the swing of things.

My goals for the race are pretty modest:

Swim

1. Stay calm

2. Do freestyle

Bike

1. Practice gear-shifting, and "finding the right gear for the moment". (will write about this soon, it was an insight I got from a Bike 101 that Coach A held for us a few weeks ago)

2. Hydrate on the bike

Run

1. Sl-og if I must, don't walk.

One of the main things I've changed in my training this year is how I hydrate. I'm a big fan of Nuun, so I'm definitely filling my bottles with Nuun goodness for the race. :) I'll probably take a few cliff blocks before the swim. And since this should be a pretty short race, I won't need to worry about nutrition on the course.

Most importantly, I want to reclaim the joy of tri-ing. Sometimes, setbacks in one's training occupy the mind so much, that we become one-tracked in resolving those issues, and we forget the bigger picture of why we're doing the sport in the first place.

I met a fascinating lady yesterday, an experienced & inspiring triathlete, Deb, who was introduced to me by my boss (who I consider my tri-mentor). We talked a lot about open-water swimming, and a few things she said really clicked with me. She said some times, maybe we just get caught up with being focused on the focusing on the problem - in my case, fear of open water - and not enough time on the solution. If I did the reverse, then maybe I would feel more motivated and empowered. My friends have observed my tendency to overthink things. That's hard to change in the short-run. So this nugget was a helpful suggestion to channel some of that over-thinking in a more empowering way.

She also shared that a good contemplation before the race, was to remember the reasons why I'm tri-ing. And as I reflect on it, I started tri-ing as a spiritual practice.. as a platform on which I would work to overcome mental limitations I had placed on myself ("I can't swim in the open water", "I can't", "I'm not an athlete" etc), in order to discover what I could really do. The fact that I've had setbacks awakens me to the fact that I still have much to learn, and a reminder that the fun is not over yet!

My mantra for this race will be "Let go, and be the Rookie!" :)

Fear Factor

2009-04-23T22:10:00.010-05:00

From my previous posts, it's pretty evident that I have a fear of open water swims, inspite of the fact that I've done about 4 races now, and numerous practice sessions at Barton Springs pool. So, it was not without some trepidation that I signed up for Splash n Dash race at Quarry Lake a few days ago.

I had hoped this race would be different; that after swimming in three different lakes Quarry Lake would not be so intimidating. I called the gym to find out the depth of the lake (mistake #1), and my heart sank - 100ft at its deepest point. In the midst of nursing a minor heart seizure, I pinged Coach A and asked for words of wisdom. His pat reply was - what does it matter how deep the lake is? We'll be swimming near the surface anyway. Good point, Coach A.. if I had been thinking rationally.. I wasn't though..

Once I reached the lake about 30min before the race, I realized that in my preoccupation with the splash part of the race, I had forgotten about the dash - and had not brought my running shoes! (needless to point out ..mistake #2) Since I was more concerned about the swim, and not the race in general, I figured at the worst I would skip the run and just use the swim practice. My training buddy, Cha, came to the rescue and miraculously produced a spare pair of running shoes that were my size.

And then, as I stepped into the lake, a familiar feeling of terror slowly washed over me. The water was 60 degrees or less, and my muscles started tightening. The 750m lake course looked a lot farther than I had imagined. More than the distance, it was the depth that concerned me (even though, logically there was no reason to feel that way). As the pre-race announcements began, Coach A joined us. He started giving Cha and I tips about the course, but I could barely focus. The lake had become larger than life..

Change of scene to the Matrix.. Morpheus tells Neo to fly across two buildings as part of his training.

Morpheus: You've got to let it all go, Neo.. fear, doubt, disbelief.. Free your mind!

Neo: (from top of the building, looks at the ground below) ohhkkk... (deep breathing) ok, free my mind, no problem! no problem! I can do this..

As the wave start began, I hung back to the end of pack, as did Cha & Kris (who similarly panicked). By now, the panic had crippled my breathing and I could not put my head underwater. I breaststroked with my head above water for a good 200m. I could see Kris freaking out too, and by now, the safety canoes were escorting us. One of the lifeguards asked her if she wanted to turn back. I yelled out to Kris, "come on, we can do this! let's do it together!" She reluctantly agreed. I silently noted the irony of me encouraging someone else when I could not persuade my own mind to stay calm.

And thus saying, Neo falls flat on his face... Cypher: (shakes his head) Everybody falls the first time.

I completed the course but did not meet both my goals of staying calm and using freestyle. The feeling of imminent danger overcame me so powerfully that I was barely able to function, my swimming skills regressed that of a beginner who was swimming at the deep end for the very first time. I felt disheartened that inspite of improvement in my swim technique, my knowledge left me when I needed it the most. Inspite of encouragement from all my buddies, I mulled over the issue for a while. Yes, I completed the course, which I never doubted I could. But my goals were different. It was more the issue of why I lost my nerve that upset me.

Then I had an interesting insight last Thursday, while listening to Brahmachari Girishji, in the midst of a weekly spiritual class for young adults. He said that fear is a result of a deep attachment to our physical body, and that the root of all fear is the fear of death. We become engulfted in fear when we give importance to the mere thought of dying. The way to move away from fear is to focus all of your thoughts and attention on the task at hand, and not let your mind wander at a crucial time. He shared his experience of how he used to surf 30-feet waves in California (prior to him becoming a monk). He said, if you lose your focus for even just a second, you could be destroyed by these strong waves. So scaling the wave is not just a test of your physical, but your spiritual strength as well.

This then brought to me to question of how my mind got caught up in it - why wasn't I able to muster up the focus and attention when I needed it? Girishji replied, it was a question of practice & training. I reflected on the fact that while I had dedicated time to physical training, I had not devoted any time at all to mental preparation - my pillars for focus were meditation and yoga, and I hardly commit time for either. My busy lifestyle was not really nurturing my mind to become more focused, it was just occupying the mind with more and more distracting thoughts.

If I continue on this path, then no matter how great my skills, I will not be able use these skills if I don't master my mind. So, looks like I'm going to be making some changes to my schedule this week.. to create some time and space for much-needed mental/spiritual training. And I'm not just talking about giving sporadic motivational msgs to the mind (like how Neo had attempted). I'm referring to something deeper, and more transformative. A consistent, calming, daily practice strengthens the mind and allows it to stay in equilibrium when the waves of adversity crash upon it.

Next time, I'll be better prepared to ride the waves.

Overliving and other insights

2009-04-06T23:01:00.007-05:00

It's been over 7 weeks now since I've started training - and it feels great! Some things that have worked well for me in keeping to my schedule:

1. Training with a buddy. This helps a lot, particularly on days that you don't feel like getting out of bed in the morning.. The fact that you've committed to working out with someone will motivate you to attend the class - if not for anything else, to keep your promise.

2. Morning workouts - ups and downs here.. on the upside, it's great to have your workout out of the way first thing in the morning. I've always admired my friends who have the discipline to workout regularly at 6am. I never thought I was an early riser. But with some practice, it's not as hard as it used to be for me to get up early in the morning. On the downside, you need to sleep much earlier at night to get enough rest or it will not be a sustainable schedule.

3. Going to the gym - as simple as this sounds, it's really quite motivating to have gym membership not only because of the variety of group classes and good facilities, but it also gives you an indoor option to train on days that the weather is bad. Bad weather is one less excuse to skip a workout, because you can always make it up with going to the gym!

4. Having a structured but flexible schedule helps. This year, I started my season with a weekly schedule because I was slowly easing into workout schedule after having health issues over the last year. I did not want to draw up a monthly schedule simply because I did not know if I could keep up with the pace of such planned workouts. Planning on a weekly basis gave me the flexibility to workout as I was able to do them. This helped increase rather than diminish my confidence, and got me back on my feet.

Though I'm still somewhat ambivalent about this.. I miss having set days to do particular workouts (Mon-swim, Tue - bike, Wed-swim, Thu-run etc) when I was in the training group, instead of planning a weekly schedule. In any event, it has worked out well so far because healing is my priority. That said, now that I'm in much better shape, I'm glad to have signed up for a swim clinic (twice a week, mon & wed) because this will bring the kind of regularity that I'm looking for.

On overliving...

I had attended a Tri-clinic by Rogue Training Systems, and it was a good opportunity for me to have a one-on-one discussion with an experienced tri-coach. She mentioned the idea of "overliving" - trying to do everything successfully - work, family life, intense training schedule, friends, travel, volunteer work etc. And that as we venture into our training, we should keep in mind our priorities and not lose sight of them. This simple yet poignant point reminded me of how we burn out because we often chase the illusion that we can have our cake and eat it too. And if we can't have it all, it means that we're not capable enough. This fear and discontent drives "overliving".

Ultimately, it's not about our abilities, but about our choices that will lead to a sense of contentment. Even if we did juggled everything, it can leave us with a sense of emptiness and burnout if we don't find fulfilment within ourselves. And in order to find fulfilment, we need to reflect and prioritize our commitments - to ourselves and our loved ones.

And to me, that means learning to let go of expectations and being kind to yourself and your body - that works so hard to help you achieve goals set by your mind.. In Bikram yoga, one of the most important postures is "shavasana" (corpse pose) - where you lay still and relax deeply. Through practice, this relaxation allows cells to repair themselves and the posture is intended to rejuvenate one's body, mind and spirit. Rejuvenation is JUST as important for the body as is working out.

Drilled!

2009-03-13T12:05:00.002-05:00

Good news! I'm happy that I kept to a schedule (without actually creating one) for two weeks in a row! The workout times that Cha originally drew up for herself, worked for me too and I've been able to workout regularly this week. It's been fun training with Cha, and having a buddy to train with keeps me in check, especially on days when I'm tempted to slack off (or when it's freezing cold and rainy AND too darn early to get up in the morning!!)

The swim workout today was awesome. Bright (I should say dark, really, since we've switched our clocks over to Daylight Savings) and early, I showed up at 5.40am to get ready for our planned swim workout with (Coach) Amit. A seasoned triathlete who's currently training for a half-iron distance, Coach had offered to help us correct our free-style technique by closely observing our free-style. I was so grateful for his help, because I definitely needed the expert eye to correct my technique. Although I could swim decently and had the endurance for long-distance swimming, my technique was not efficient and it took that much more effort and time to get through the distance.

Coach gave us excellent and insightful feedback. One key point that Coach brought to my attention was keeping my body in balance to help me glide through the water. He demonstrated some drills for us to do to help keep our bodies in balance. (Will refrain from explaining the method in excruciating detail, but if you're interested, drop me a note) The mantra for the drill was "where's my hand, where's my head" - both had to be pointing downward.

After doing several repeats of the drills, Coach asked us to do a few laps to incorporate balance into our technique. Instead of swimming normally, I unconsciously started doing the drill! When I became aware of this, I tried to use both hands as I normally do, but slipped back into the drill. Coach was amused that both Cha & I had been so "drilled" that we forgot to swim!

After that though, when I eased up and started my free-style, I suddenly felt faster! Maybe it was psychological, but I felt myself glide more effortlessly through the water. I swear, I had propelled myself so much more that I nearly crashed into the wall of the lane at the end of my lap. I definitely felt a difference. So, the plan for the next swim workout on Monday is to swim more mindfully, keeping my balance.

As I reflected on "where's my hand, where's my head", it occurred to me what a profound application it had with regards to life. (Amit, maybe we should change your nick from Coach to Guru??) Are your hand and head aligned in every moment? How many times do we let our minds wander when we're doing an activity (or at work), instead of being mindful and focused on the activity (ie where the hands are). It's a great mantra to use in daily life to keep yourself in check, and to ensure that you're fully present in whatever you're doing.

Testing, testing...1, 2, 3...

2009-03-09T12:12:00.009-05:00

Last week, I marked a month and a half since I had exercised. I was eager to get back to working out and training, but was under strict orders (doctor & family) to back off. It was awful, knowing that I could not exercise even if I wanted to. Since I have friends who lead an active lifestyle, I listened intently to their plans and activities. I felt like a kid who was told to stay home, and had to watch her friends play outside. While I was sad that I couldn't join them, it also motivated me to get better, sooner.

I sought advice from Steph about what she did to get back on her feet after an illness, and one of the things that she said really resonated with me. "I was sick of being sick". That's exactly how I felt after a month of bedrest and monotonous routine (wake up - work - home - eat - sleep. I reached a point where I was ready to get going with life again. Although, logically speaking, I think the rest was definitely important in helping with the healing process.

Finally, two weeks ago, the doc gave me the green light to exercise "in moderation", and warned me against strenuous exercise. Under the eagle-eye of my hubby, last week, I started doing short workouts - 25min stationary bike, 300m swim twice a week and 2mile run/walk just to see how my body responded.

One of my tri-buddies, Cha, had sketched out her OD plan and so I tagged along for a couple of workouts. Another buddy of mine, Dads, who wants to do her first tri ever this season signed up at my gym and we did a workout together. It definitely helps to have your buddies' support. That was a test-case week. I did not draw up a schedule for myself because I did not want to create something that I would find difficult to keep up (and result in further disappointment). The idea was to test the waters and see what I could handle. Fortunately, things went well. I backed off whenever I felt any strain, and went easy on myself. Swimming free-style was probably the hardest because the arm rotation caused discomfort.

What I also realized was that I was getting tired easily not only because of lack of exercise but also poor nutrition - junk food, desserts et al. Exercise and nutrition are intertwined, and so when you stop exercising, you may become less careful about about what you eat, because you know that you can sleep in late the night after a heavy meal (instead of having to workout).

The challenge for me is to find a balance between staying motivated and exercising in moderation. When I cannot do much, I find it hard to stay motivated, and when I am motivated, I tend to push myself. So, the theme for the upcoming season is probably going to be finding my inner balance (arguably a life-long effort) so that in the long-term my body is ready to handle some of the goals that I set to develop my full potential.

A Bad Dream

2009-02-03T23:20:00.010-06:00

That just about describes my training this past fall/winter season.

And literally too.

Yesterday, I had the strangest dream. I'm not one well-versed in the field of dream interpretation, but some things about the dream struck a chord with me, so I'll share my thoughts on how it reminded me of my training.

So, I'm driving on this road, which is a familiar road (not sure where exactly but I driven on it before so it's familiar). There are gates lining this road, and beyond the gates on one side, it's a valley. All of a sudden, it's wintery and the road begins to wind - in strange twists and turns that I've never had to manouever. So there I am trying to swerve around the corners, thinking, how odd, I've never had to deal with this before! The scene ends when I reach the end of the road, and the same scene repeats - me again on this windy road.. but this time, the same road has iced over, and there are new things I have to do to manage. The same scene repeats over and again, each time with new corners and turns. Finally, when I'm driving on this road, there are no gates lining the road at all, and I'm just driving full speed and losing control - and finally, I lose all control of the car and I fall into the valley. I feel myself falling to the bottom, thinking, so this is the end..

I know. Disturbing isn't it?

But oddly enough, it struck me that this is the perfect analogy for my training because throughout this season, I've had to face new twists and turns - some preventable and others completely beyond my control. Mostly, the situation has been out of my hands i.e. new scenery along the same road each time that I just have to deal with. So although I've trained before for a half-marathon, this time the training was difficult because of recurring back pain. Training happened in spurts - I trained whenever my back was ok. And when my back got better, I had strange and random attacks of hives that prevented me from running at two of my planned races, including my target race, 3M. No clue what set off my allergies. It remains (and may always remain) a mystery. I'm now in week 3 of hives, so it definitely extinguishes any faint hope I had of doing the Austin Half-marathon. Apparently, the hives could be aggravated by exercise so I can't even do that for now. A friend put it aptly, "Sounds like someone up there doesn't want you to run."

When I sat in hospital days before the 3M race, I wondered how my body had freaked out in the way that it had, and just barely a week or so after doing an iron-distance swim, AND in spite of my best efforts to stay healthy. Life changes without warning... and I've done my best to deal with the twists and turns. I'm feeling pretty worn out now. I'm ready to take a break and heal.

For all that I've been harassed by strange and unknown forces, the experienced has humbled me greatly. To know that the ways of the Universe are greater than a single individual's effort. And that while it is necessary to apply every bit of effort and spirit to one's training, we need to be very grateful for everything else that's not in our control that goes right - a beautiful, cool morning on race day, a strong stomach, a sturdy immune system that keeps out the thousands of viruses running amok in the atmosphere, a running buddy who'll motivate you on those mornings you hate getting out of bed, friends who show up on race day to cheer you on, getting help from strangers along the race course when you need it etc.

So I end this training season with a note of gratitude - to my pals who've encouraged me, to my buddies who've run with me, to my hubby & family who've endured me through my insanity, and most of all, to the Universe that has taught me a lot about myself through its mysterious ways.

Hasta la vista.

First Iron Distance Swim

2009-01-14T11:23:00.013-06:00

The Thought

On January 8, 2009, the day before I left Singapore, I did my first iron distance swim! 80 lengths of an olympic-sized pool, 2.4 miles or 4Km. The funny part is, I had never actually planned to swim this distance. In fact, it hadn't even occurred to me that I could actually do it until my buddy, Karthik, who is keen on doing a triathlon, planted the seed in my head. When he suggested we take on an iron distance that weekend before he flew back, I sat up with interest. What a crazy idea - I loved it!

My brother discouraged me, "you can't just go out there and do 80 laps without building up to it! How much have you been swimming? We only did 800m the other day. Have you lost it?" I reluctantly agreed, and that weekend, I did half the distance. It was awesome! I didn't even feel tired. In fact, the only reason I decided not to continue on with another 40 laps was because I had a lunch commitment. Karthik, who had set his goal for 2.4miles, continued towards his goal that day, and later told me he felt great after the swim. That gave me even more confidence.

Having done the half distance, I was determined to go the full distance after a few days. I had not run that week to give some rest to my back (after repeated warnings from hubby, bro & parents), and swimming was definitely good for my back. I figured since I couldn't do my long-run (10-14miles), I might as well swim.

The Swim

It was hard getting out of bed early in the morning, and trying to sneak out before my parents had an opportunity to dissuade me. My mom, quick as ever on the draw, cornered me before I left and demanded to know where I was heading out at 6.30am instead of taking rest at home. "Oh, just a quick swim.. when I go back to Austin, it will be too cold to swim, so I figured I might as well make use of the warm weather here. Besides it's great for my back, Ma! See ya!" and ran out before she had more time to reason with me. She called me to find out when I would return, and when I told her, her voice dropped into a disbelieving, hoarse whisper, "3 hours?!"

I was not totally off the mark in my estimate. It took me roughly 2 hours and 50 min to complete the swim. I was obviously not gunning for a good time, I just wanted to see if I could actually survive it. I discovered it was really more of a mind game than physical exertion. The idea of 80 lengths is not only daunting in terms of distance, but also boredom. I daresay comparable to running laps around the track, but not really. Swimming is a lot more fun for me, and more therapeutic.

So the way I worked it in my head was to think of it as 40 laps (instead of 80 lengths). This made the time pass by much quicker. Since I was used to doing 15-20 laps, 40 laps didn't seem so bad.

The first 20 laps passed very quickly. I would say about 10 laps were really just a warm up. I focused on my stroke and kick, and form in general. My strokes were a lot stronger than my kicking, so I guess I'll need to strengthen my kicking over the tri-season. In the 10 laps that followed, I didn't even think really. Perhaps some idle thoughts about cooking Singaporean food or what food supplies I'd take back to Austin? Dunno.

The next 10 laps were the hardest. My arms and shoulders began to complain. While thoughts of quitting flitted in and out of my mind, I firmed up my resolution to continue. I had a golden opportunity that I wasn't about to quit on - swimming in a gorgeous Olympic-sized pool with no agenda for the rest of the day. I just kept focusing my thoughts on how I would feel after the swim - strong and rejuvenated. At this point, I started noticing that my fingers were shrivelling. That alarmed me a little, but oh well, what else did I expect? It helped that there was a senior ladies water aerobics class at the other end of the pool. So I tried to amuse myself by stealing glances at the old ladies' enthusiastic jiving.

The final 10 laps were just amazing. The aches and pains were drowned by joy of coming that far into the iron distance. I relived my childhood swimming days and felt genuinely thrilled by how far I had come. Finishing the 40th lap was almost a non-event, I was just swimming like a fish by then. I didnt' ache after the swim, surprisingly. My shoulders felt a little tight, and I had some chaffing under my arm, but that's about it.

The Aftermath

"Finally, there comes our Madam, all charred and roasted from swimming in the sun!" remarked my mother as I walked into the house. My dad grumbled, "You're leaving tommorrow, and you're spending all day in the pool." My grandmother said, "You must be starving! Why don't you get something to eat?" I smiled to myself. Family keeps you humble. No accolades for doing a 2.4 mile-swim - just simple concern. Only my brother's eyes danced when I told him I did my first iron-distance swim, "Holy crap! Awesome, sis!"

And that's exactly how I felt. :)

Holiday Reflections

2008-12-31T04:39:00.003-06:00

After putting Austin 2008 behind me, and setting off my holiday in Singapore, I decided to take a break from everything and revisit why I got involved in running & triathlons in the first place. It struck me when I was telling my brother about my angst over failed running goals, he said to me, “You’re doing this for charity, so shouldn’t you have more fun with it?”

Then and there it struck me, that somewhere along the way, my focus had moved away from fun to achievement. I started wanting to have XYZ races under my belt, instead of going out and just running. It's an addictive illusion. So, in Singapore, I had time to reflect on why I really engage in athletic endeavors. Running for Asha is definitely still a primary motivation. I think I’ve also become more enthused about testing my limits. Unfortunately, that did not work out well with the health issues that I faced this year, so I felt held back. But taking care of the body is equally important, and sometimes backing off is more helpful than pushing an ailing body. My boss, a triathlete whom I admire, also had words of wisdom for me. When I expressed disappointment that my plans for running were quickly falling apart, she said, “Remember your real goal – the half-iron distance. These road races were just part of the preparation, so if you cannot do all of them, don’t worry about it. Just focus on the big prize.”

And finally, I run and train because it makes me feel good. It's that simple. The breeze on my face, the greenery, (and yes, the humidity too), the rhythmic pounding of my feet on the asphalt can be quite meditative. And perhaps just the feeling of, “yes, I can do this.”

It was good to take stock. And surprisingly, over the last two weeks since I went on holiday, I’ve been motivated more than ever to run. I’ve managed to keep to my running schedule for the better part of the time, enthusiastically doing my 4-5mile runs thrice a week. (Of course, holiday eating has been a huge guilt factor in getting me out of bed and running regularly). More importantly, it’s been so much fun running with my childhood buddies (who are fortunately also a bunch of fitness freaks). What is now known as a “prata run”, my buddies and I religiously run 4 miles twice a week and go for breakfast pratas (a type of bread) afterwards. It’s also been awesome catching up with their lives over the long run. The bonding and relaxing runs have been just what I needed. Yesterday, we did a mini duathlon - went swimming in Ang Mo Kio pool for 800m, followed by a 2mile run around Bishan Park. We chatted and laughed the whole way.

So, this being December 31, I propose a toast to 2008 - While I did not realize many of my aspirations & goals for training in 2008, I have learnt a lot from my experiences. I can apply some of the practical wisdom I've gained to make 2009 a fantastic, fun-filled training year. Cheers to all of us runners and triathletes!

New Lens

2008-12-18T22:15:00.002-06:00

I don't think my mom thought she would live to see the day when I could be enticed out of bed early in the morning by the idea of going for a walk. I jumped out of bed eagerly and told her I would go running with her. This was the post-virus run that I was both looking forward to and dreading at the same time. My coach warned me that one of the hardest runs would be the one after recovering from the virus. But after a 26-hour plane journey from Austin to Singapore, I was SO ready to exercise and stretch.

Fifteen minutes later, I was dressed in my gear and ready to the hit the road. My mom looked at my Nathan water bottle in grip with great curiousity and asked, "why do you need a water bottle for a 20min walk?" I laughed and said, "well, Ma, I might run for a bit longer than that!" Before she could reason with me further, I ushered her out of the door.

I set off for an easy run, and decided to see how far I could go. I took a route that I used to take by bus or car when I was a kid to Upper Seletar Reservoir. http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2444474 That's one of the nicest things about returning home. It gives you a great insight into how far you've come - an opportunity for internal stock-taking. I would have never thought of running to the reservoir as a child or teenager, and yet here I was. It was like seeing Singapore in a whole new lens - through the eyes of a runner - scoping out running routes, appreciating the lush greenery, new roads and neatly paved sidewalks.

It took me about an hour to run, stroll, take a breather on the gorgeous reservoir banks, and reminisce about how I used to slide down the hilly slopes on cardboard boxes as kids. It was humid but windy, and when I returned, I was drenched in sweat. It felt awesome, though! I didn't feel the slightest bit sick or tired. I was refreshed.

And afterwards, I had my dream post-long run breakfast - Mom's crispy dosas (5 of them!) and steaming hot chai. Oh, I love being home.

Next plan - to convince my childhood buddies (now strapping, well-built, army officers) to accompany me on a long run through downtown Orchard Road! :)

And the Universe Said, Thou Shalt Not.

2008-12-13T15:47:00.009-06:00

Thus the melodrama begins.. :)

The week had started off on an ominous note. 20 people in my office had come down with a stomach virus after attending an office party (which I did not go to). I counted myself lucky to have escaped. Or so I thought. The last thing I needed was a stomach virus, given that it was race week (Dallas White Rock Half-Marathon) and I had tonne of work to finish before leaving for my trip on Tuesday.

I did my last training run on Wednesday, felt great inspite of the cold.

Then on Thursday, I came down with symptoms of the stomach virus, and left work abruptly. I had vomitting, fever etc. through the day. Arv took one look at my state and gently said, "I know you really want to do this, but I don't think you should race." I was crushed, but stubbornly harbored hopes to run on Sunday. I felt bad because I had trained, made all these reservations & plans, and I was supposed to run with my buddy.

I got back on my feet on Friday, and tried to mentally prepare myself. By afternoon, I noticed the appearance of hives. Undeterred, I emailed my coach, Lisa, for advice. She responded with a firm "I strongly recommend you don't race on Sunday". My brother, a doctor, went a step further and said, "you're not running a half-marathon on Sunday. Period."

The conversation that ensued was funny on hindsight, and I cannot resist reproducing it here:
Bro: Look at it this way, if the Universe wanted you to run, things would have lined up differently.
Me: We make our own destiny.
Bro: I'll take you up on that philosophical point another time. But you're not running on Sunday.
Me: I've trained for this, man. All year, my training has been a constant uphill. It's always one thing after another getting in the way.
Bro: There'll be many other races.
Me: What's the worst that could happen?
Bro: You could collapse.. from dehydration & weakness. My friend, a doctor & seasoned marathoner ran after a viral infection and collapsed. He had to be rushed to the emergency room. Your body is still fighting the viral load, you can't overburden your body. Listen to me, don't run!
Me: *silent resignation*
Bro: If it makes you feel better, I'll run with you around the lake next week in Singapore.

And thus I extracted a promise from him to run a 10K with me in Singapore on January 4, 2009. :)

When the three people whose advice you count on the most (hubby, bro & coach) unanimously agree on one course of action, you can't help but listen. Because they care for you. And it turns out they were right. My situation worsened on Saturday and I was put on strong medication. Any hopes of even volunteering at the race with Asha Dallas were dashed.

It's still a mystery as to why this happened.

I came to the conclusion that, it's not just training that prepares you for a race. You also need a stroke of luck to make it to the start line. If you find that inspite of your best efforts, things still fall through, then just accept it with a smile and plan for a better race.

Tomorrow, I'll be at home cheering on my buddies, Ganesh & Vishwas, for their race. I'll be virtually watching them with the runner tracking system by the White Rock organizers.

Oh, and I signed up for the 3M Half Marathon yesterday. By the law of karma, I'm set for a good year in 2009.

Rocky Road to the Finish Line

2008-11-17T21:23:00.007-06:00

San Antonio was my first race for the season, since the 3M Half-Marathon in 2007. Considering, it was my first double-digit miler since January this year when I ran 10 miles, I suppose it was alright.. Not quite the rah-rah experience I was hoping it would be.

The high point of the SA Rock N Roll experience for me was Arvind doing his Half Marathon in 1 hr 58min! Simply fabulous! I'm so proud of him. After having a rough time this year with training and health, he's back in form and clocked a minute more than his first ever half-marathon race. All this inspite of barely training for over 2 months. This was quite a confidence booster for him and I know he's going to set a PR in his next race!

As for me, it wasn't a great race. More than anything, my lack of training was apparent. Sure I can go out and do a half-marathon. But it's no longer about just finishing the race for me. It's about having a good experience with it. And Sunday's race was hard in the last few miles.

I was going to list all the things went wrong.. Until yesterday, when I went for yoga. With a bad back, I could not do most of the asanas, and feeling frustrated, I asked the teacher for alternative poses. She said, if you can't do it, then just honor yourself and sit in child's pose. It hit me then. Honor yourself. No point thinking negative thoughts. Just honor whatever you did and build on it.

So that's the approach I will take with my race report. Am going to focus on the positive aspects of the race, what I did RIGHT instead of mulling over what I did WRONG (albeit there were plenty of things I would change for my next race)

Pre-Race & All That Jazz

Arv & I had fun travelling with Steph, Bradford & Kristen to San Antonio where about 12 of us piled on at Vishi's. It was awesome chillin' with friends, meeting new folks and tucking into a sumptious carb-loaded meal - pasta with alfredo sauce (Arv's cooking), pasta with marinara (cha), mashed potatoes (steph), herb bread (vani), coconut rice (cha), hummus & pita chips (kristen) and some tangilious lime juice (charmi & niraj). Oh, and fudgecheez cake to celebrate Google's birthday. I discovered mashed potatoes with mango pickle is MOST delectable.

At night, I packed my race day gear:

- Shoes & socks
- track suit
- white long-sleeved shirt
- Team Asha t-shirt (IMPORTANT!)
- Gloves
- Headband
- Salt tablets (note to self: pack more of this in future, two aren't enuff)
- Gu shot
- Cliff shot blocks
- Water bottle & hand grip
- Race bib (pinned onto tee)
- Timing Chip (attached to shoe)
I packed a drop-off bag containing a towel and an extra tee just in case. Would definitely do this drill for future races.

Next time, I will ensure that I sleep comfortably.

Race Day Morning

Had my usual few sips of coffee & banana. I wish I could eat more in the morning, but it doesn't work for me. Ideally, oatmeal and/or bagels is what is recommended.

Good idea to pack a power bar so that if lines are long (which they usually are in large races), you can have a snack before your race.

Miles 1-3: Doing the Trot

I need at least 3 miles to warm up. So the first part of the race was spent waving at bands, jogging along, getting my muscles going after being tensely cold. We even took a 10min (unavoidable) porta pottie break. There was a woman at the front fussing over the lack of toilet paper and jumping from one loo to the next. Note to self: if TP is that important to you, then BYOTP.

After the 5K mark, Cha & I spotted some folks offering donuts & pastries! We were both hungry from the endless wait at the start, so we split a quarter of a donut. Probably not the best choice for a snack, but the sugar felt good.

Miles 4-9: Don't Stop Till You Get Enough

It was awesome running with Cha. She was really good about hydration (which I'm not good about) so whenever she took a sip of water, I was reminded to do the same. This kept me well-hydrated. It was definitely a good decision to take a water bottle along and get a bottle grip from Ganesh. We barely stopped at any of the water stops because we sipped our water along the way. Since I'm a sipper, it really worked well to carry my own water and not have to wait for a water stop to chug it.

I had a salt tablet after about an hour and a half of running. Will probably take more along in future because it minimizes cramping. I was feeling pretty good because I had trained well for 9 miles.

Miles 10 to finish: Ker-plat!

I was thrilled to see Savi & Varsha (who drove down at 5am that day) cheering us at Mile 10! By this time, Cha's stitches were really acting up, and I couldn't stop my running gait because it hurt too much to walk. Once Varsh started pacing Cha, I plodded on.

I went about 500m ahead when my feet hit the lights on the road divider and I went SPLAT on my face (also known as "doing the Superman"). My buddy, Santhosh (who did a crazy 156K trail running feat over the same weekend) later asked me how I managed to fall in a road race. I was probably dragging my feet from the pain and tumbled. I heard a huge wave of "Ooooh" around me, as people rushed to help me up. I dusted myself and continued running, unsure of how seriously injured myself. Tears welled up for no apparent reason. I told myself, if I was really hurt badly, it would become apparent soon enough. The experience shook me but also made me upset enough to stubbornly continue running. I knew if I started walking, I wouldn't make it.

Something took over me. I think it's the idea that I had worked so hard to make it that point in the race inspite of everything, and I just HAD to finish this. I pushed inspite of aches, pains, nausea, and mentally committed myself to better training for a future race.

After a while, it was sheer momentum carrying me forward. When I finally crossed the finish line, I couldn't stop running.

My biggest takeaway: For the distance that I had trained, I felt great. For the rest of way, I needed to have built my stamina further by training harder. Well, if the race doesn't kill ya, it only makes ya stronger. So, hopefully, I'm poised for a better race at Dallas next month!

Ready to Rock!

2008-11-10T08:38:00.007-06:00

It's slowly dawning on me that my first half-marathon race for this season is coming up next week! No, less than a week. November 16, 2008, is about 6 six days away. The sold-out race looks to be an exciting one with over 30,000 people running it, and supposedly there will be a band at every mile! We're going to run in a group (though I suspect I will be alone for most of my run considering my speedy running buddies) as Team Asha, so it will definitely be a blast! What's also going to be fun is that we'll be spending the night before the race at a friend's place in San Antonio (thanks, Vishi!!) and head out for the race together.

Truth be told, my training has been anything but exciting. I haven't been as regular with training as I would have liked, and I confess that I'm missing the steely discipline and determination that is helpful for workouts. I've tried to focus on my form and consciously worked through mental chatter/complaints while running. Most of my workouts and runs have been pretty good, and fairly enjoyable. The fact remains, however, I can do more and train a lot harder. One of my goals for this race is to finish strong, and speed up in my last mile. What has limited my running is the fear that I will lose steam at the end. I need to overcome this fear if I hope to do any better.

This will be my second half-marathon since 2007, so it's pretty exciting. It is also one of my three half-marathon races this season, so I'm looking to build on my experience at this race. I'm ready to rock!

An Ode to the Long Run

2008-10-11T22:53:00.003-05:00

In the long run, the fog settles,
And you begin to see things for what they are.

In the long run, doubts clear
And you realize worrying is an unproductive task.

In the long run, your friends and competitors become apparent,
And you wonder how you ever confused the two.

In the long-run, you and your partner do your best
And wait for each other at the crossroads so you don’t lose way.

In the long run, you challenge yourself
To do more than you thought you could do, and try for more than you imagined.

In the long run, you begin to understand
That getting lost helped you find yourself.

In the long run, you detach from
And dissolve your expectations of what should be and what could be.

In the long run, you stop resisting
And accept the strange rhythm of the Universe, uncertain yet beautiful is its melody.

In the long run, you are happy
And realize you always were and always will be.

In the long run, you let go
And just be.

The DFL Syndrome

2008-10-01T22:25:00.005-05:00

If you don't know what DFL stands for, ask me privately. :) It's basically about coming in last in a race.

Why does it bother us so much when we come in last in our workout or a race? I think it goes back to our high expectations about ourselves, our abilities as well others' perceptions of us (discussed in my previous blog spot on the Beginner's Mile). And although we try to stay focused on the running alone, these negative thoughts enter our mind as we try to give our best. Coming in last can result in harsh self-judgement. After coming in last for many of my training workouts, it prompted me to ask myself, "Why do I do this? Why not just give up or try something else in which I excel?"

The answer is easy when you're running for a good cause - you are running to benefit others from your efforts. When the cause is larger than yourself, you find the drive to keep going.

I also read a really cool blog post by Gary Lerude that lifted my spirit:

Thoughts inspired by watching a middle school cross-country running meet.

The gun goes off, the crowd of stationary runners becomes molten, they disappear into the woods. After endless minutes, one lead runner emerges from the trees to begin the final lap to the finish line. Then a second, a third, then clumps of runners. Well after the lead runners have cooled down and are, perhaps, already thinking of next week's race, the stragglers emerge from the woods. Not lithe, often walking, they are encouraged by parents and team mates to run the remaining distance. Exhausted, nonetheless they muster the will to pick up the pace. Many minutes after the race started, as most runners and their parents have dissipated, as the race organizers prepare for the next age group, they cross the finish line.

Blessed are those who come in last.

They surely are not motivated by winning. Whatever it is -- bettering themselves, perseverance, internal resolve, courage in the face of negative feedback -- is inspirational. May they carry that with them throughout their lives. And may the rest of us, who carefully judge our odds to avoid "losing," reconsider. Character is not borne just from being first.

- Gary Lerude

Day of the Injured

2008-09-25T09:11:00.002-05:00

I think I pulled my hamstring at the workout yesterday.. doing the lamest thing - high-knee warm-up! Geez. It's amazing how the body can put up with hours of abuse in endurance sports, and be uber fragile at the same time! I tried stretching but didn't get very far at all. Need to check out some good stretching exercises for the hamstring.

Steph had awful ITB issues. At the end of the workout, she, Kirstin (who also had ITB pain), & I ended up walking slowly back to our cars. Kirstin joked with the coach, "the Injured club made it back!"

It was just one of those days, when you felt like you could do more but your body was holding you back. I suppose sometimes you have to go slow so that you can go fast in the long-run (pun intended). Planning to rest today, and go for yoga tomorrow. Hopefully that will have me in good shape for Saturday's long run. 8 miles, baby.

Beginner's Mind, Beginner's Mile

2008-09-22T11:41:00.004-05:00

In Zen, the Beginner's Mind refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level, just as a beginner in that subject would.

It occurred to me while running this week, how difficult it is to keep a beginner's mind, and run without expectations. At my workout last week, I found myself comparing my time/stamina to what it was last year, and this really was not helpful because it took away from my focus of what I was actually doing. Whether swimming or running, the mind constantly went back the past.

While it's good to be cognizant and mindful of one's performance, I think it's necessary to treat each running experience as it is, without judgment or expectation of what it ought to be. No two runs will be identical, yet I think at some level, we expect consistent results from ourselves or at least consistently better results! :)

When I ran my first long-run for 5 miles (my beginner's mile, so to speak), I had absolutely no idea what I was capable of doing and put no pressure on myself to achieve a certain time or even distance. I ran it strong and well, and completely surprised myself. That kind of mental openness and running for the sake of running rather than having preconceived notions about one's performance is what I have come to term as The Beginner's Mile.

From now on, I will treat every mile as the Beginner's Mile.

Force Majeure

2008-09-19T09:49:00.003-05:00

Force ma·jeure (fôrs mä-zhûr, frs)

1. Superior or overpowering force.

2. An unexpected or uncontrollable event.
3. the story of my race plans for 2007-08

Dramatic as it sounds, no less than intervening Acts of God have changed the course of my race plans this entire year. First my plans to do a 25K in Jan were wiped out, then my half-M in Feb, my tri-season in the summer (during which I had hoped to do an Olympic Distance), then hurricane Ike destroyed Galveston where I had planned to do a half-iron aquabike (of course, my loss is definitely small and insignificant compared to what the people of Galveston suffered..), and now Aviva moved up its race by 6 months.

My friends wonder why I care about Aviva so much - it's the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm tired of having my parade getting rained on.

Until I talked to a friend of mine in her 20s (who had started running around the same time as me). After winning the lottery for the New York Marathon, she found out she needed a pacemaker. Her doctor told her she couldn't do long-distance running anytime in the near future. So when I shared my disappointment with her, she looked at me straight in the eye, and said, "I know how that feels. Well, at least you still have a parade going on.." That really struck me.

So, I'll be grateful for where I am at with my training and what I can do, inspite of Force Majeure. Thanks for all the suggestions, guys! I'll keep an eye out for a new target. The plan for 2008-09 is still 3 Half-marathons in Texas, and we'll see what tri comes my way.

In the interim, I've religiously kept to my training routine this week - run workouts & swim. Am definitely sleeping a lot better these days! :)

A Spanner in the Works! :(

2008-09-17T08:21:00.002-05:00

My goal this upcoming season was the Aviva 70.3 Ironman in Singapore. This year, the race was in September, and I figured that I would have enough time to train for next year's race - presumably in September too. The idea of doing a half-iron in my hometown really got me pumped! That motivated me to start training again, and I began seriously thinking about what would be needed to prepare for the half-iron training program.

Everything about the race seemed perfect! The course looked awesome - swim was at ECP (near my old high school!), and consisted of 2 loops of a 1/2mile course (MUCH better than out-and-back). The bike route was familiar to me (ECP to AYE) and the run was on a pretty flat course.

Yesterday, I visited the Aviva page, and to my horror, I saw that the date for next Aviva 70.3 was now scheduled for MARCH 22, 2009! This does NOT give me enough time to prepare for a half-iron distance (1.2mile swim, 56mile bike ride, 13.1mile run). When I read the cut-off times , any faint hope I had of still being able to train for it, were crushed. I'm not sure how to train or whether it's even feasible to train for 3 half-marathons AND a half-iron distance in 6 months!

Stepher, in her usual cheeriness, reassured me that there was still Aviva 2010, and that we could do another half-iron somewhere else in the interim.

Sigh. I feel like the rug has just been pulled from under my feet.

All signed up and ready to go!

2008-09-15T09:04:00.002-05:00

So, I signed up for gym membership. :) AND did my swim workout on the same day! AND my schedule is kickin'..

The guy at the front desk who saw me sign up earlier, smiled and said, "Long time no see!". Ha! I was definitely an eager beaver to start working out. Managed to squeeze in a swim workout right before closing at the gym yesterday (yes, it's 24HR fitness, but the one at Arboretum closes at 8pm.. I know.. ironic). Had some tightness in my back after the long run on Saturday, so the swim was a perfect way to relax. Swimming in saline water was not as radically different as I thought it would be.

I'll focus on running & swimming for the next few weeks, and then start spin classes.

A Slow Start

2008-09-13T11:05:00.002-05:00

The yoga class yesterday was a disappointment, frankly. I was hoping that getting gym membership would avail me the opportunity to attend the yoga class offered by the gym, but that option is not looking good right now. The lure of the other classes (spin, weights - which I would otherwise loathe to do on my own) still beckons.

I ran 5.5miles today at my first Rogue long-run after a really long time. I wasn't even sure if I could, but I set my intention on at least 5 miles, because I have seriously fallen behind on my training. My gung-ho trimate, Steph, however, ran with the full marathon group to complete nearly 8 miles! Most inspiring! Her positive energy & spiritedness are really awesome.

Speaking of buddies, I realized today that with Rogue's new location, our routes went through the East of Austin, and some parts were dodgy. After Steph Jr. turning around at 3 miles, I ran alone for the most part, and got stared at, called out etc. It definitely helps to run with a buddy.

Can't wait to chart out my training schedule. With so many things going on, I feel like the need to sit and have it down on paper so I can see where I'm headed.

My mom was on the phone with me this morning, and expressed concern that I was running long-distances after recovering from my back pain. And for a moment, I paused and asked myself why I was doing this. And I realized the goal motivated me to do more and be more than I thought possible. The adventure & the uncertainty of whether I could actually do it was exciting. That something like this is even within my reach reminds me of how far I've come since my couch-potato days, and how much more I could do if I put my mind to it.

Let's see how it goes. It's been a slow start so far, but I will step it up in the coming weeks..

A Step in the Right Direction

2008-09-11T09:37:00.002-05:00

I took up 7-day free trial pass at 24Hour Fitness. Been hearing good things about the gym so far, and went to check it out yesterday. The saline indoor lap pool is set at 80-85 degrees! Perfect for winter swim training! I'm pumped! (Stephers, u gotta do this.. )

Their indoor track looked a little small and kind of odd because it circles the upper floor, but I suppose it might be handy on a freezing winter day..

Can't wait to try it out!

Resurrection!

2008-09-09T16:16:00.007-05:00

Well. well. well.

I smiled when I read the repeated theme of "long-time-no-see-ol'-blog" in my tri-buddies's (see right-hand column) latest blog entries. And here I go, saying the same thing - why did I neglect my blog? where have I been? what on earth have I been up to?

It's been almost a YEAR since I've blogged. I tried blogging about nothing for while, and let that blog die a natural death (a very short life it lived, mind you.)

(An aside to Vinoo - hot chocolate with no marshmallows just didn't cut it for me. And with no conversations happening over hot chocolate, there was little reason not to pull the plug.
A separate aside to Googles - Well, frankly, I'm just not as talented as you in writing everything about nothing. And while u moved on to pastel green & Omar Khyyam on Nihilio, my blog sat still in the past glory of the Longhorn Triathlon - and, oh what a nice place in memory that is to be in!)

Where have I been? What have I been up to? Everywhere and a lot, and yet seemingly nowhere, and little. New house, lots of out-of-town visitors, family, back pain (least fun of all the things I've been up to), Asha, CHYK and everything else that came my way (Facebook for instance). I had a fabulous time with a team of amazing women doing a triathlon over the summer. Loads of fun! Sadly, it was the only one I could do this summer because I've been recovering from back pain. Let's see.. what else...

Oh, and did I mention a crazy plan for 2008-09 to do 3 Half-Marathons, a Half-Iron aquabike and a 70.3 in my hometown?

:)

So as they sayeth in the recent Olympics - Let the games begin!

Post-Race Reflections

2007-10-10T14:44:00.000-05:00

The Longhorn Tri was truly my most enjoyable triathlon this season!

For a while, the racing was more nerve-racking than fun because I kept doing longer distances, and I really wanted to put the fun back into tri-ing. It was a festive, well-organized race and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Swim: 21.11 min
My fastest time so far. I interchanged between freestyle & breastroke (blah), because I encountered a tonne of hydrilla along the way. When I got out, the volunteers who gave me a hand teased, "here comes the seaweed monster!" because I was covered with stuff! I was more calm and relaxed during the swim, and only occasionally nervous when other swimmers came in my way or kicked me. After the swim, I felt awesome & energized.

Bike: 57:47 min
Inspite of the hilly course, I did surprisingly better than any of my previous times. The race director did cut off 0.5mile off the course because of construction, so psychologically, I felt it was going to be easier. Plus I did not expect it to be an easy course, so I had managed my expectations well. I could have hydrated better for sure (ended up with a pretty nasty headache later in the day). I pushed through ALL of the hills and didn't walk once. I also got a little teary-eyed (in a happy way of course) along the ride, as I thought about how far I've come on the bike. It helped immensely to stay positive and to encourage myself along the way. My bike mantra was "last TRI, last TRI, go, go, go!" :)

Run: 39:54 min
Certainly not my best pace. The run course was pretty deceptive, winding through in and out of the park. The turnaround was very close to the finish line so mentally I was getting ready to finish when I realized I still had another 1.5miles to go! Doesn't sound like a great distance but I was feeling quite beat. On hindsight, I would have trained on a hillier course for the run because I was not very prepared for the slopes in the park. Still, I had a strong finish, and sprinted the last 100-200m.

The Sprint Distance turned out to be a good choice for me for this season. There are core habits I need to develop before I can compete in an O-distance - doing freestyle all the way to conserve quad energy and hydrating on the bike are two of the most important things I need to work on. More practice, I suppose.

PR @ Target TRI!!

2007-10-08T08:19:00.000-05:00

LONGHORN TRIATHLON FESTIVAL

SPRINT DISTANCE: 2:04:36

Swim: 21:11 ** Bike:57:47 ** Run:39:54

A Classic Moment!

2007-09-25T21:09:00.000-05:00

Cha, you read my mind! As you were writing your latest post on my blog, I rode up and down the killer Rollingwood step-hills! Last month, when I had attempted those hills for the first time I nearly died. Remember how freaked out I was by traffic & racing downhill? I could barely do 1 loop. Today, my first bike session since the end of formal tri-training, I did two loops, and sped downhill without any of the fear that I had felt.

In the first round, I sailed past the school where I had stopped last month when I had a near breakdown, feeling utterly despondent about my performance. Coach Liz encouraged me to get back on my feet. I looked at the spot where I had stopped, and it felt vaguely like a dream.

Then came the Classic Moment. As I was pushing hard on the 3rd uphill on my next round, suddenly, as if by cue, Coach Liz drove by in her car, and yelled, "Come on, Sharanya! You can do it! So, you decided to come back here, huh?" Chariots of Fire might as well have been playing in the background..! Underdog faces Nemesis Hill, with supporters cheering on.

I exchanged a few friendly words with her, and thought how nice it was that she saw me in one of my better biking moments. All through summer training, I had been a sorry state on the bike. Now things were looking up, and I felt much stronger. I'm glad Liz happened to be there to share that moment with me. To top it all, right after I cycled past the school for the 2nd time, Steph called me (we haven't chatted in a while, so it was an amazing coincidence). Coach & tri-buddy chanced upon me while I was training on the monster hills!

These moments make you feel as if the Universe is keeping an eye out for you. Through synchronicity, the Universe told me that I was not alone. ;)

Back in the game

2007-09-24T23:01:00.000-05:00

Man, what a month.

It's finally come to a Karmic end. The first two weeks of this month were completely sedentary, and the final two weeks have been SO hectic with my bro in town, travelling, partying etc. Arv and I were talking about how we need to have a better balance rather than rollercoasting through the months. I suppose even if life is a roller coaster, it's important to be able to keep your inner balance through the craziness. During these past two weeks, I have barely trained. I spent a long weekend in Toronto meeting up with a bunch of cousins, and we stayed out until the wee hours of the morning. I couldn't keep up a training routine through it. After returning to Austin, I was busy showing my brother around, and had caught a Canadian cold so I wasn't up to training either.

Tri-training as a lifestyle is definitely challenging.. Finally, I'm back in the groove with training (albeit with two weeks left for Longhorn, and next week is a taper week...). I swam 900m today (inspite of some internal resistance), and I'm quite dizzy from going back and forth in my 15-yard pool! :)

Final TRI

2007-09-19T09:43:00.000-05:00

0.5mile swim - 12mile bike - 3.1mile run
The Last Race of my 1st Tri-Season

After much hmm-ing & haa-ing, I finally decided to do a sprint distance for the Longhorn Triathlon Festival. This had been my original goal. I had toyed with the idea of doing an Olympic distance at the start of the program, but decided to see how my training & races go before making a call. After my last performance, I had pretty much decided I'll stick with Sprint distance for this season.

On the one hand it felt like a cop-out. Seeing how well my cousins did in the long course, inspired me to give the O-distance a shot. However, the Dilloman race brought me back to reality when I realized how much harder I needed to work before I was ready for an O-Distance. Primarily, I was still not comfortable doing free-style in open water, and my bike pace had not improve one bit. I was also warned about the Decker course (by far the hardest of all the courses in town). Apparently, it is a tough course to begin with so it's not the best choice for an O-Distance. Also, I've barely trained over the last few weeks, with all of the things that have been going on in my personal life.

In the end, I decided I could still leave some goals for my next season, and that the O-distance goal would give me something to look forward to. On reflection, I think somewhere along the way in my training, I had decided tri-ing would become a lifestyle for me, not just a one-off fling with endurance sports. I want to be able to enjoy myself through the races and not dread them, to finish strong and not be injured. For that, I want to build my endurance and prepare well.

My goal will be to finish strong for this race & have fun. Through it I want remember all the motivating reasons for why I tri.

Dilloman Debrief

2007-09-09T18:04:00.000-05:00

800m Swim: 22min 24s (2.48min/100m)
It was uber-scary, quite frankly, worsened by gastroentestinal problems. Despite trying to calm my nerves during the test swim, the minute the horn sounded off and we started swimming into the lake, my heart was in my mouth! Panic started creeping up, as the water got murkier. During the first 100m, I didn't dare put my head in the water. As my breathing became irregular, I looked around for the kayak in a moment of desperation. It was pretty far from where I was, and I became more unnerved. Then I passed the first buoy and thought, ok, this is silly, I'm here for a race. Stay calm and don't look down! :) With that, I breast-stroked my way through the rest of the swim. I was sorely disappointed with myself for not using freestyle. I tried once or twice but felt my foot cramping up so I gave up on freestyle. As I came out of my swim, my buddy, Santhosh, called out "Good job! 20min!" and I thought to myself, "Ya right! I was sooo slow, I must have done 40min! But ok, he's trying to be encouraging.." (Sorry, Santhosh, you were right!)

Inspite of my disappointment at abandoning freestyle, my pace improved nearly a minute from 3.53min/100m.

20K Bike Ride: 1 hour 7:05 min (11.1 mph)
The bike leg seemed felt pretty tough. I suspect the swim took quite a bit out of me, because I felt tired starting out. It was hard to stay positive, and the ride felt tedious inspite of gorgeous scenery. I dare say boredom creeped up, and I played mind games throughout most of the course. There were rolling hills for the most part, and only one really hard uphill that plateaued (so no downhill to help recovery). I took advantage of downhills (no fear this time!). Only once did my bike wobble because of the speed & wind, but I kept steady. I made all the tight turns. Mentally, I did not engage as well as I did in my first tri. My bike mantras changed frequently, and I didn't draw much strength from them this time.

Sadly, my bike pace dropped from my first tri which was 11.7 mph. On the positive side, I guess it's ok considering it was a much longer swim this time round. Still, I wish I could have done better.

5K run: 42min 31s (13:58min/mile)
When it was time to run, I felt pretty lousy. My tummy had given me a lot of trouble, and then I started getting side stitches. I warmed up after 1.5miles. I "slogged" for the most part, until I realized there was a girl ahead of me (in my age group) who was walking ahead of me. I thought, I haven't trained this hard to be beaten by someone who's walking! Then I pushed harder and started running. I sprinted the last 100m, and had a strong finish.

This is my worst running time yet. :( 13:38min/mile is a far cry from 12:19min/mile in my first tri, considering an increase of only 1mile distance.

Overall, the race was ok. I didn't feel at my best, partly because of a stomachache & fatigue. Another issue was that I kept thinking about what distance I wanted to do in my next race, and whether I should increase the distance in my next tri. Inspite of my efforts to stay focused on the present, I let my mind wander, which did me a great disservice. Lesson learnt, I guess.

Arv couldn't be around for the race, since he was recovering from the bout of pneumonia. My friends, Santhosh & Gau, came all the way out to Pace Bend Park to cheer me on & drive me back. They were SO super! They played Tri-Sherpas for the day, and kept my spirits up. It meant so much to me, particularly since I was nursing an upset tummy on the way to the race and a bad headache on the way back. Thank you, guys!

Steph was also there, cheering her head off for me. :) It felt really good to hear her encouragement through transition (both ways) and near the finish line. You rock, Steph!

Two tris down, and one to go!

Dilloman Done!

2007-09-09T16:19:00.000-05:00

Finish time: 2:15:15

My first Sprint distance!

800m Swim: 22min 24s (2.48min/100m)

20K Bike Ride: 1 hour 7:05 min (11.1 mph)

5K run: 42min 31s (13:58min/mile)

An Amazing Brick

2007-09-06T07:54:00.000-05:00

After not biking for nearly 2 weeks, I started to get antsy. With the continously gloomy weather over the last few days, I was getting concerned about whether I'd actually be able to put in a bike workout before the race. But just as I started to worry yesterday, the sun came out (story of my life..). It was supposed to be my swim workout day. So I went back and forth mentally about whether I should swim or bike. A friend told me nonchalantly - do both! Aha.. a mid-week brick! How perfect. After some reassurance from Coach Lorrie, I headed out to the Veloway.

It was by far the best ride I've ever had on the Veloway. My legs felt strong, and I noticed that I was able to take corners more smoothly than before. No trepidation about Mr. Veloway Hill either - just sailed over with minimum effort. Instead, I noticed how beautiful the sky was - hues of pink, orange & blue. The weather had cooled down, and the (approaching fall) breeze softly caressed my face. I remembered my numerous rides on the Veloway - fall and all, thrills & spills. This summer has been so special for me because of tri-training. The fear I used to feel while riding felt like a vague memory. I thought about how far I've come from mid-June. From struggling with gears to sailing down the Veloway. I've come to love biking!

After my 25min bike ride, I drove back and swam for 30min in my apt pool. The water was somewhat murky (!!) and instead of being turned off, I thought, oh nice, a lake simulation! I practiced sighting. An adorable dog eyed me from the corner of the pool, but lost interest after my 10th lap. "She's not going to stop," he must have figured, and settled into a snooze.

It was a truly special brick.. it helped me remember all the reasons I tri..

What's up, Doc?

2007-09-02T09:34:00.000-05:00

Arv's fever finally let up. His temp is back to normal for the first time in 10 days, though he's pretty exhausted and still coughing. Over the last few doc visits, we discovered he had a viral fever, and then developed a secondary infection, which was pneumonia. I was relieved on Friday when the doc finally diagnosed what was wrong, and then prescribed the right medication for it. The doc seemed a little too cheerful and nonchalant about the whole thing. He announced to me with a big smile on Friday that Arv was contagious. Whiskey tango foxtrot. I felt like telling him, listen Doc, I don't have time for an infection, I have a tri to do next week!

With my hubby down & out, I haven't had much time to work out. My attention has been on Arv 100%. I discussed the situation with my coach, and she said I'll probably end up doing much better at the Dillo because I've had so much rest, but I still needed to stay active. She said, fitness-wise, I was fine.

I managed to squeeze a 30min run on Friday before the doc's visit. It felt greeeat! Those of you who know my area will know how (in)famous the Spyglass hills are. I ran through every one of them (for the first time, I might add), and felt strong.

Yesterday, I managed a 840m swim workout in my 15-yard apt complex pool (yes, holy cat, 56 laps..). I felt awesome. Hopefully I will get in a bike workout this evening or tommorrow.

Doin' The Dillo

2007-08-27T16:20:00.001-05:00

Just signed up for the Dilloman! You read my mind, Cha.. :)

Sep 9 - 800m swim, 20K bike ride, 5K run, at Pace Bend Park.

So, the swim is more than TWICE the distance in my first TRI, and in Lake Travis! My triathlete boss said it's a fun race, really scenic, rolling hills (and the bike route is fairly hilly, but apparently not as bad as Decker). My coaches are really supportive too.

Yaay! My tri-fatigue is SO over. After missing the race yesterday, something got into me. Gee, I think I realize how much I actually enjoy doing this stuff! :)

Tri-ing circumstances

2007-08-26T14:34:00.001-05:00

So, Skeese' Greets Triathlon didn't happen. Arv's been running a high fever for nearly 3 days now, and I didn't have the heart to leave him alone this morning for the race. He was still running a 100 degree fever at 5am this morning. Going for the triathlon would mean I'd be away for 7 hours straight, without any possibility of him being able to contact me. With Arv being sick, and the recent loss of my grandfather, I was not focused on the race. There are some things more important than racing - like your loved ones.

What was touching was how supportive my friends were. Santhosh & Gau offered to keep an eye on Arv so I could go for the race, and Char offered to come with me to New Braunfels to cheer me on, so I wouldn't have to drive alone. That was really sweet! It made me realize how lucky Arv & I have been to make good friends in Austin.

In the end, I thought it was more important to be with Arv, and even if I went for the race, my mind would not be there. Besides, there are always going to be races to do.

That said I've set my sights on scouting for a new Sprint Distance Tri to do this summer. I still intend to achieve my goal of 3 TRIs in 3 months, inspite of the unexpected change of course.

Random Thoughts on Training Fatigue

2007-08-22T19:22:00.000-05:00

An avid reader of my blog complained that my last entry had "no drama". So, isn't that a good thing, I thought to myself incredulously.

It also struck me that perhaps it's because I'm starting to feel drained.. a kind of "blah" feeling.. a "what-is-this-for?" feeling.. a "have-I-got-my-priorities-right" feeling... It seems like my training dictates my life right now, not just my schedule. In fact, I've re-arranged my work schedule so that I can get enough rest, do regular house chores etc. I'm quite a social creature and love having people over. But with my lack of time & energy, my social life has slowed down. I haven't had time to read, prepare for Chinmaya Yuva Kendra classes, meditate, do yoga.. do all of the things that are important to me.

For what? So I can swim, bike, run 10min faster than I did before...?

I guess not. My best friend, Megs, theorized that the reason I put myself through this is because I have certain vasanas that needed to be expressed. Probably true. The desire to do a TRI was certainly latent, and has suddenly found expression in the most surprising way.

I guess the point is to see what I can really do. To test my assumptions of myself. To see if my mind can go beyond accepted perceptions of myself and be challenged to consider new perspectives of what I can do, and who I am. For that, I'll swim-bike-run, do whatever it takes. To TRI, to unearth the real me.

35-mile bike ride on Old San Antonio Road

2007-08-22T12:30:00.000-05:00

The 35-mile bike ride this weekend was really cool. I learnt so much from my fellow tri-buddy, Ellen, who lead the bike trip.

Arvind & I were going to loop around South Mopac 4 times... but fortunately, Ellen asked if anyone wanted to take the route through Old San Antonio Road to Kyle with her. It was (a) an out-and-back ride, (b) a change of scenery from South Mopac, and (c) low-traffic route, so I readily accepted her offer.

We arrived early at 7am at Aikins High School ("it's at the end of the universe," said Ellen. She was right.) and set off. Ellen was really amazing. She had printed out the map & directions and put it into ziplock bags and had clips to attach them to the bike. She was super prepared - with bandaid, advil, cash, water, electrolyte strips.. I was impressed. She was also an excellent lead cyclist, giving all the appropriate hand signals ("look out for debris"), warnings ("car back"), directions ("in about 100m we're going to turn right at the stop sign") and kept a watchful distance while cycling. I learnt so much by watching her. I felt so secure with her leading in front and Arv looking out for me from the back. I couldn't have made it without them. I counted my blessings.

The terrain was fine, mostly gentle hills. Nothing surprising or jarring. I am somewhat used to the traffic now, so I didn't freak out for the most part. We took 2 potty stops at the gas station, and refueled too. The distance was challenging for me, though doable. We were riding at a super easy pace (Ellen said, "it's about time on the saddle, not the speed, so don't worry") I started struggling at the 33 mile or so, and really had to push myself. Unlike Ellen, I did not stretch my shoulders and back, and my hands started hurting. In the last mile, I could barely shift gears because my fingers felt weak. My new bike shorts also took some getting used to, so in all, the last 1-2miles was rough. Apart from that though, I was fine. More importantly, I did it. I felt pretty numb and spaced out once it was over, but recovered fairly quickly.

The next day I even woke up (and I nearly decided to sleep in..) at 6.30am to go for my long run. What's coming over me?? I'm actually sticking to my routine! :)

There is No Spoon

2007-08-15T13:40:00.000-05:00

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

A great reminder from the Matrix.

Fear is not about something that IS; it is about something that happened or might happen. Either way, it is not real. As I thought about it, I realized it's not about dealing with fear per se. Fear is a mental projection. So I have to train my mind to behave and respond appropriately to circumstances. The body responds accordingly to what the mind tells it. If I fear wobbling, so I will wobble. If I fear crashing, and so it will be.

Changing the external world is futile; it is our internal world that needs to change. The outer world may not be different, but we can choose to respond differently.

I will attempt the hills again. In the same traffic, with a different attitude.

A New Low

2007-08-15T07:48:00.000-05:00

I had mistakenly thought the worst was over in my bike training.

Last night was by far the scariest bike ride yet. We had to do two warm up loops starting from across the Stafford Bridge, past Austin High School and to Townlake Animal Shelter and back. I was terrified manoeuvering first through the crowds, dogs, and then through traffic. At the potty stop, I prayed to calm my nerves. The combination of traffic and fear that I couldn't brake in time, crippled my riding. Coach Liz spotted me struggling and took me across to the shelter. I just did one loop.

Then we had to go from Stafford to Rollingwood for the hill steps workout. It was so nerve-racking, that at one point, when I was on Barton Springs, I got off my bike and walked. I used to look at cyclists on Barton Springs and wonder why they love courting death. Now I was one of these crazy cyclists. As I barrelled down the slope on Barton Springs, no glib quotations on battling fear came to mind. No comforting words played in my head. Raw fear reverberated through me.

I was so shaken that I couldn't even focus on the hill workout (which was pretty brutal per se). Coach Liz was awesome. She rode beside me, doing the hills with me and encouraged me along. I felt like a liability. At the end of the five "step" hills, I finally caved in. I told Liz, "Who am I kidding? I am not going to make it through this.." I felt frustrated, let down by myself and wiped out. As if the Dementors had sucked the life out of me. And I couldn't let go of the fear of traffic. Liz said, "You've come very far, think about your first day on the bike. You can do this tough workout, but you need to manage your fear."

On the downhill, my heart raced as fast as my bike. And while others in the group were shouting in glee, "Wee! I'm at 40miles/hr!", my heart was in my mouth. The fear of being unable to stop gripped me again, and I felt my stomach doing somersaults. I slammed the brakes so hard finally that I sprained my thumb. I took a look at the last downhill step and thought, "there's no way in hell I'm going down that hill!". I walked down the hill feeling like a loser. My group mates stopped by me to see if I was ok. Others had done 2-4 hill repeats. I had barely made it through one.

Coach Liz had in the interim organized a mini-entourage to take me back to the Stafford Bridge. Feeling mentally and physically beat, I told her, "No, that's ok. I'll just call my husband to come pick me up from here." Coach Liz looked at me and said firmly, "There's something to be said about facing your fear. Don't give up now. Ride back with the others." Steph, Ellen and Lisa by this time were encouraging me along - "You'll regret it later if you don't ride back! we're here for you." Reluctantly, I got back on my bike, took a deep breath and followed them.

The good news is I made it back. But I felt like crap. I was so disappointed in myself for not being able to manage fear. Coach Liz reminded me that althought I may not have gotten the physical workout I wanted, by doing what I did, my confidence would improve by a notch. She pointed out it was not my ability, but my confidence that was an issue. Reminds me of what Morpheus told Neo in the sparring program, "But your weakness is not your technique."

Oops.. I did it again..

2007-08-13T12:20:00.000-05:00

Fell and wounded the SAME place on my knee as the last time. My poor knee, fresh and pink after recovering from my last fall, took another hit. In a most ridiculous manner too. I had to cycle for 30miles, and just as I finished loop 2 (out of 3), I crossed over to the road divider to turn around into the third loop. I couldn't brake in time so I hit the kerb. My left foot got caught in the toe-cage so the whole bike toppled. Fortunately, there were no cars around, as I sat dazed and collapsed near the road divider. How embarrassing.

I bruised my knee cap pretty badily (it's purple now), so I'm taking rest at home today. I thought it was a pretty superficial wound on Saturday when it happened, so I did my 7-mile run on Sunday instead of resting. Today, my knee really hurts! :(

In another fiasco, I went to Barton Springs over the weekend to get over my fear of open water, only to find out I'm still fearful. The water was icy-cold, and I could barely breathe so that made me even more panicky. The springs is clear enough that you can see the floor, and that made my tummy churn. SIGH. I walked out of the springs after barely 15min, feeling very cowardly indeed.

On the positive side, I did 30miles on the bike - my longest distance ever! - quite strongly (save for the unglamourous fall) and run 7 miles quite effortlessly on Townlake. It was a hot day so I was completely wet in perspiration, but wasn't exhausted.

Arv kicked my butt at both biking and running (as expected). He faithfully accompanies me on my long runs & bike rides for no reason other than to support me. I may not be the fastest triathlete, but I'm the luckiest one for having the most amazingly supportive spouse.

Majulah Singapore!

2007-08-09T12:46:00.001-05:00

August 9th is Singapore's National Day.

Happy Birthday, Singapore! :)

http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest+News/Singapore/STIStory_147051.html

Fear and all that bad stuff

2007-08-07T12:23:00.000-05:00

It occurred to me on Saturday when I did my long-bike ride (18miles) around South Mopac that negative feelings put a huge brake (pun intended) on one's training and performance. It's really not all about building the body for the tri-challenge.. the mind needs to be trained too.

And this dawned on me as I peddled furiously on road shoulder, listening anxiously for traffic (because I dare not turn behind to look for it lest I wobble!). Every time I sped up, I would brake for fear of losing control of the bike. I was so anxious about the traffic that I gripped my handlbars very tight. A wrestler could not have pulled that bike away from me if he tried. In fact, after 18 miles of having an iron-tight grip on the bars, my hands & fingers were sore and weak. I could barely turn my ignition key in the car after training. I realized how tense I had been. Throughout the ride, I had to consistently correct my posture, loosen my shoulders, breathe deeply and quieten the mental chatter.

The hardest part was focusing on the positive because it seemed like a wave of negative thoughts was gushing through my mind ("what if a car drove too close to me?" "What if someone throws something out from their car and it hits me?" "What if my lens pop out?" "what if the car in front of me sprays debris into my eyes?" "what if I lose control of the bike?") To quieten my mind, I had to practice meditation - on wheels! Watch the thoughts, let go of the ownership, allow thoughts to pass, particularly the negative ones.

So long as I hold on to the fear, my speed will suffer. I need to learn to be ok with crashing/getting hurt if I hope to make any more progress on the bike. It's time to train the mind..

TRI Take 2!

2007-08-02T12:16:00.000-05:00

500m swim * 14.1mile bike * 5K run

Just signed up for the 2nd TRI of my first season. WOOO-HOO! It's going to be fun! I'm feeling good about the sprint distance, and it's looking more do-able than I imagined. Plus it's going to be at the Texas Ski Ranch again, so it's comforting know that it will be the same lake where I did my first tri. Both my Tri-buddies are going to be racing this one - Char & Steph - so it's going to rock! Ladies, we need to have a post-race tri-party plan! :)

8

2007-07-30T07:54:00.000-05:00

is the number of times I went up the Veloway Hill during my 25-mile bike ride. Can u believe I had no trouble getting up the hill?!

What Arun told me last week about getting up the hill stuck with me and has been tremendously helpful (thanks, dude) - small gear in front, biggest gear at the back. And while others may have told me that before, I only understood how to work the gears on a my bike last week. Arv watched me get up the hill unsuccessfully, and pointed out I had been on the wrong gears even after I thought I had shifted them. As it turns out, I was doing them backwards! Now that I know which gears are controlled by which side of the bike handles, it is MUCH easier.

It's a great feeling to know I can ride 25 miles. (who would have thought it??) I think I've had enough of the Veloway. It's time to venture out.

The 6-mile run on Sunday through Town Lake was fun. I was there at 7am to begin my workout. I can't believe I woke up that early to do a workout! Arv didn't come with me that day, and I ran with Steph and her friend Elizabeth. We ran a decent pace, and after the run, I didn't even feel pooped. Freakin awesome.

Confessions of a bad girl

2007-07-26T21:41:00.000-05:00

No, this is not a raunchy blog entry. (Santhosh, you can stop reading now, this is not what you were hoping for..)

My nutrition has gone out the window, particularly yesterday and today. I used to snack on bad stuff to get thru mid-morning and mid-afternoon cravings. Ever had those cravings? Right about 2pm, my energy tanks inexplicably.. and even if I were cycling in the afternoon sun, I'm sure I'd doze off the bike. I've tried coffee - which helps but the cafetaria coffee tastes like drain water, and I seldom get time to walk the nearest decent coffee place - cookies, popcorn to deal with it but then it becomes a habit. I end up needing to wean myself off those too. I've struggled to come up with alternatives.

So anyway, my tri workout regime really inspired me to get rid of the junk food and eat more healthful stuff. I adhered to my resolution these last few weeks, and then a sugar craving hit me yesterday that I have had dificulty shaking off (it was contagious apparently, because Arv had the same feeling). Today I had M&Ms. a 100-calorie snack-pack, popcorn... and an hour or so before the workout I had a cliff bar (brownie fudge no less), an eggroll (GASP) and 2 veggie potstickers (faint)! Of course, karma ensured that I tasted the eggroll through 3 miles of running the Marshes. I'll never do that again. Arv expressed genine shock at my feat.

Clearly my nutrition needs to be revisited.. I'm definitely not eating the times that I should be and it's resulting in sharp appetite increases at the "wrong" times. Advice anyone?

P.s. No accelerade sno-cones in Austin, Vinoo, so don't even go there..

Optimus has a fall

2007-07-23T07:49:00.000-05:00

My weekend training was fairly eventful. I decided to flip the routine around, and do the run on Saturday, and the brick on Sunday. The 5-mile run was very enjoyable, and I wasn't at all tired. During the run, I focused on form a lot, keeping my arms at right-angles and relaxing into the run.

The brick was tough. We didn't get off to a good start, really. We had a late night on Saturday, so we didn't get up until 10am or so. Then the bike rack had issues with carrying both Optimus and our friend's Huffy. Finally, we put Optimus in the back seat, and carried the Huffy on the rack. The sun was blazing by the time we got to the Veloway. One of our friends (who's done a 360-mile bike ride) joined us. Both he and Arv (on the Huffy) were way ahead of me, and sailed through the Hill. After pushing through 5 loops on the Veloway (only making the Hill 1/3 of the time), I skidded on a sharp turn and crashed. I had rode too close to the edge of the lane and skidded on a pool of mud.

Fortunately, I had bike gloves on, so I didn't scrape off the skin from my hands. My left knee took a bit of a beating. Poor Optimus had one of his handlebars bent by the impact. The gears & brakes were fine, so I continued on my loop. The guys were way ahead and hadn't realized I had fallen. I was determined to finish 20 miles, so I pushed ahead on the 6th loop (with a concerned Arvind watching my back this time), and even made it up the hill! I completed the 20miles and a 10min run with a bleeding knee. Quite melodramatic.

Gau & Santhosh told me to wear my wound proudly as a badge of honour. Whatever. In a way though, I'm glad I fell, because it was a nagging fear. Now that it's done, I can ride more fearlessly, knowing I can survive a crash. :) I guess Optimus has now been broken in.

Run-dee-dun

2007-07-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

Funny, I don't think I was ever this happy about running when I trained for the half-marathon. Today's session was good. Of course, I'm no gazelle (nor any desire to be), but I ran consistently and did the workout to the T - I ran consciously, thinking about form & pace (whereas previously, I would let my mind wander while running). It was a good workout. Ok, Gau, not "good" or "bad", but my practice seems to be paying off.

Reflecting on my week, I've gone through some ups and downs, and mostly, because of my mind. I'd like to focus on being more equipoised, and being more relaxed during my workouts. This will probably help me focus better. This weekend we have a long bike ride (18 miles) and a brick. Should be fun!

All geared up and going nowhere

2007-07-18T07:55:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had a lousy bike session. It was like being 8 again when all my friends jumped on their bikes and sped off, leaving me in the dust. Everyone else did hill repeats, while I practiced some pretty basic stuff in a parking lot with my coach, Lorrie. It was my first time out on the road, and I freaked out. Kind of like swimming in open water. You can swim comfortably a million times in a pool but still freak out when you first swim in the sea/lake. I guess it's a fear of the unknown. The traffic wasn't bad, but I really had to steady my nerves in the presence of cars zipping past me. :( I'll get over it.

Gau told me something yesterday, which on reflection, is pretty profound, "there's no good or bad workout, only the need for more or less practice". And thus spake the Ultramarathoner.

Optimus Rocks the Hill!

2007-07-16T21:31:00.000-05:00

Ladies & Gentlemen, presenting...

Optimus Azure Blew

Folks, thanks for all your creative suggestions! ("Bucephalus" I did not get.. it sounded too much like a disease..) Arv really wanted Azure somewhere in there, and after trying different combinations, we agreed to this. Optimus means "most favourable, optimum". When I watched the Tranformers, the thought popped into my head to call him "Optimus Blue" (or Bloo, but Arv argued people might mispronounce it as "blow"). Today, as I sailed through the Veloway on Optimus, I felt like I was flying - blown away - hence, "blew". Azure speaks for itself.

I love Optimus! We took him for a spin on Sunday, and it was my first test-ride. But Optimus felt so right! Immediately, I noticed how comfortable I was (because I was sized well for this bike), and it was fast but not uncontrollably so. I practised the gears, and that still needs some getting used to. The biggest thing I need to look out for is my posture. If I choose to, I can sit upright, and when I feel more competitive, I can slide my hands down the bike horns and lean forward. :)

Optimus took me up the hill today! YES! So, Mr. Veloway Hill is not the hotshot he used to be. As I went up the hill today (mostly in shock at how fast I was advancing), a biker chided me for being on the left side of the hill. Oh well. If I WERE such a good biker, I guess I wouldn't be on the wrong side of the hill in the first place, right? I think it's so easy for good cyclists to forget how they themselves first struggled. Anyway, whatever. The thrill of going up the hill made up for everything.

My new baby

2007-07-13T09:31:00.001-05:00

I got my first bike! I'm a little nervous about riding a road bike, having barely gotten used to the hybrid. The guy at the store warned me it would be a new learning curve. When I was being sized yesterday, I was pretty tense. Zane told me to relax. I said, can you tell I'm a novice? He said, I see you're a novice, but I'm not sure why you're nervous..

Need to work on my posture on this new baby. I'm slouching and that's going to be a problem. Had no time to take it for a spin because I had to go for run training (hill repeats.. urgh). Arv took it for a spin instead and said it rocked. Can't wait to try it out tommorrow on the Veloway!

Oh, and I'm taking suggestions for names for my bike, so pls throw your idea into the hat. ;)

Insanity in the family

2007-07-12T11:58:00.001-05:00

So you think I'm crazy to do 3 triathlons in 3 months? Wait till you hear what my cousins are upto..

http://www.sbtriathlon.com/noHeader/Index.cfm

Yes, the LONG course of the Santa Barbara Triathlon with 900 participants. That's 1 mile swim in the PACIFIC OCEAN, 34 mile bike ride and 10mile run! It gets better. They don't have a coach, and this will be their FIRST TRIATHLON!

So here I was thinking it's a pretty crazy goal to do an Olympic distance in 4 months of training, and along come my cousins who will attempt their first tri in a longer-than-Olympic distance.. in the Pacific Ocean! My jaw dropped when my cousin, Shobi, told me about this adventure. The "mom" in me leaped out and freaked. Mitra reasoned with me, well, they're big girls, they'll take care of themselves. Point taken. But did I mention its in the Pacific Ocean?? The first thing I did was email them about Swim Aids: http://www.triaids.com/SwimSafe.htm (re: for de ja vu, read my earlier post "Look Ma! No Floats!") I became calmer when I read that the swim course will only take you out 200yards into the ocean (it's an interesting loop).

Anyhoots, it's inspiring, quite frankly. My crazy cousins have shown me one thing - anything is possible if you set your mind to it. These chicks are ballsy. I'm really proud of them for setting a target like this. And I know they will rock! August 26 will be big day for both of them, and for me too - http://www.doublextri.com/ While their out in the Pacific Ocean, I'll be making my rounds in the cable lake at Texas Ski Ranch.

Those of you who thought I was mad, now you know - it runs in the family! :)

Debriefing 1st TRI

2007-07-10T21:23:00.000-05:00

One of the significant differences after the race has been to change the blog reader (right on, Gau) - from "non-athlete" to "newbie athlete". Today, at the bike session (which I sat out since my new bike is only coming in tommorrow - yes!) Coach Liz announced that everyone in our group now is officially a triathlete (my group mates clapped for me in support). It feels like a rite of passage to be called a "triathlete". Let's not get carried away, Sha, says a little voice in my head. We'll see if I'll survive the next race which is a Sprint Distance triathlon (Aug 26).

I have mixed feelings about my race. I'm not feeling uber-good or on top of the world or anything. It was tough. I was really anxious during the swim, and annoyed by my inability to stay equipoised. The bike leg was no zippedy-doo-da ride either.

Swim analysis:
- Well, I didn't drown or yell for a lifejacket. I guess that's good.
- My swim time of 11min for 300m was ok, given the anxiety and fear playing on my mind.
- Need to work on swimming comfortably in open water. I talked to my coach for some options. I'd like to do my weekend swim training in a lake-like environment.

Bike analysis:
- Pat on the back for staying on course, pushing through hills and doing my first double-digit bike mileage in 1 hour. Hitherto, I had only done a max of 8 miles on the Veloway, and that took me a good hour and 15 min.
- More pats on the back for getting my act together in effectively 3 bike training sessions.
- Need to work on getting more comfortable with gear shifting.
- Knowing how to change a flat will improve my confidence generally. That way, I won't have fear of a flat playing on my mind.

Run analysis:
- I hobbled through half of this distance. In the premises, my 12min/mile pace was decent. Interestingly, my 2-mile time trial for last-year's the half-marathon training was 22min 17s. So the fact that I did 12min/mile AFTER the swim & the bike ride, is worthy of another pat on the back.
- Need to work on a more powerful finish.

One thing's for sure. If I want to survive longer distances than this rookie triathlon, I need to train A LOT harder.

And you're going and you're going, and the road's real straight!

2007-07-08T22:42:00.000-05:00

My 1st TRI is done! Woo-hooo! I clocked 1:42:46.

Swim:

Was definitely the most challenging part - not physically, but mentally. I was anxious looking at the murky water. During the warm-ups, I could barely get myself past the first buoy before swimming quickly back. Just the thought of not knowing the depth and not being able to hang onto to something (even though I knew I could easily swim the distance) made me feel nervous. I kept looking to Arv for comfort. He had his usual chilled out cheerful smile. (Coach Liz told me, "He's such a good husband! Does what he's told, carries the bag around..lol") After the gun shot, I spent about 100m just calming myself down and regularizing my breathing. It was just a freakin mind-game, and I was somewhat disappointed that I didn't overcome it faster. Inspite of the mental drama, I did it in a decent time (I think). Well now I know how it feels to swim into the unknown, I'll get better at it the next time.

Transition:

Fairly smooth, and drama-free. I had mentally rehearsed it in my mind, and got through it decently.

Bike:

Hitherto I had never done 12 miles, so I'm quite proud of myself. My goal was to stay on the bike and ride safely (both of which I did). We were told there would only "gently sloping hills" but it felt like there were SO many of them! I learnt how to use the propulsion from the downhill to move farther on the uphill with less pedalling. No bike issues. I saw one or two whose bike chains came off or fell off to the side. Scarlett was awesome! She stayed steady inspite of the strong winds. Coach Liz would be proud of me. I came up with my own mantra to get through the mean hills "and you're going and you're going, (x 6) and the road's real straight!" :)

Transition:

Was very disoriented, and felt somewhat dizzy. Not an easy transition this one. Had to figure out where my bike rack was..

Run:

My sit bones hurt a LOT. It was the longest and most painful 2 miles I'd done. Fairly boring. I kept telling myself I was minutes from being a triathlete!

FINISH LINE!

As I crossed the finish line, Coach Liz yelled to me, "Good job, triathlete!" Arv had a big smile on his face, and concern in his eyes as I slapped an ice-cold towel over my face and panted profusely. It's done, honey. The first TRI is done.

Simply amazing TRI heroes..

2007-07-07T21:29:00.000-05:00

Admittedly, I've got the flutters in the tummy the night before the race.

One of our friends, Joel Hayes, is an Ironman, and shared with me some inspiration. Last night, over dinner, and he told us about an amazing father and son team who've done 6 Ironman triathlons. The 44-yr-old son has cerebral palsy, and his 66-yr-old father has pulled & pushed him on his wheelchair through every single one of those races (and some). Joel said he was passed by the father & son team in one of the Ironman races (Team Hoyt), and he was blown away by them. It was very humbling indeed.

I watched the video and had tears in my eyes, feeling very small indeed. Nothing compares to this, people. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDnrLv6z-mM&mode=related&search=

I think the lucky triathletes are the ones who have their loved ones behind them 100%. That's where I consider myself very blessed to have a hubby who's so supportive and encouraging of my triscapades. He's my biggest fan & cheerleader.

I'm very fortunate to be able to compete at all. I'm going to have fun tommorrow, and be very grateful for the opportunity, and for all the support I get from loved ones & friends.

Another Brick in the Wall

2007-07-07T09:06:00.000-05:00

I made up my run during lunch yesterday. Ran from the Hobby building to Auditorium shores, did one round around the Steve Vaughn statue, couple of footdrills (I must have been a pretty crazy sight skippity-hopping by myself) and 8 times of 30/30. In the middle of it all, Woody (the guy with the guitar on Townlake) even serenaded me and complimented my smile. LOL.

And then I went for an easy 5-mile bike ride in evening and finished just in time before it poured (finally beat the weather, ha!) Was pretty shocked at myself. I'm usually quite creative (and effective) in finding excuses to weasle out of training sessions. But here I am willfully and purposefully exercising. Arv was pretty stunned too, and commented it was probably the first time he saw me training without being persuaded to. I told him it's because I'm afraid for my life on Sunday. :)

Collage-A-Trois!

2007-07-05T23:17:00.000-05:00

Ok, so the title is cliche and TRI-ite. So sue me. I didn't go for my run today because the weather cheated me. And I didn't want to run in the drizzle and risk slipping on muddy paths/slippery roads. Call me a ninny, but the race is more important. I'll make up the run during lunch tommorrow.

I was able to work on my collage assignment during the chill out time. It was fun! If this wasn't an all-girls training group, I doubt if we would have had a collage assignment - to visualize our success. Regardless, I like the idea. This is like a Visual Map of my goals.

I got some magazines from Half-Price bookstore and from Kerstin (my triathlete boss), cut out some inspiring pics & words.

After some reflection, I decided that variety.. athletic achievement..general fitness..staying in focus.. these really drive me in tri-training. The challenge is in balancing all this with other things I want to do in life.

Race Prep & atahasa ("elaborate rituals")

2007-07-05T00:17:00.000-05:00

I confess I went to see the Texas Ski Ranch today. I know what you're thinking - scaredy cat! Whatever. I'm the one who'll be in the middle of a lake, not you, so I don't care for your judgement, quite frankly. Arv, inspite of his lousy bout of allergies and pains, said in his usual supportive way he'd accompany me. I have been having the butterflies in the tummy thinking about swimming in open waters. I read in Triathlon Life that preparing for your swim in the open waters can feel like a death march. So I wanted to see what I was in for, rather than risk panic spasms on race day. Quite an unglamourous way to go, passing out at the start of a rookie race. As it turned out, the lake wasn't at all intimidating. Only 9 ft, the manager told me. Pshh.

After that, I went to hunt for tri-gear and/or race gear. I don't have a triathlete's body yet, so none of the two-pieces worked for me. I'll probably stick with my swim suit & wear my bike shorts on top of it, and then add a tee for the bike/run. Inspite of not getting any swanky sportswear, my shopping at Academy yielded me a significant bill for sports sandals, Gu-shots, camelback and a visor.

Oh, and it seems, Mum had told Dad that his daughter was planning to risk her life at a lake for a triathlon. His calm reply to her was, relax, it's only a lake. Not like she's swimming out into the choppy ocean waters or anything. He told me, you'll do well, baby, good luck for your race.

Not Pink Floyd's Brick

2007-07-04T23:50:00.000-05:00

I did a brick today. A brick I learned is a bike-run or swim-bike routine (Arv argued that the latter should be a swibe, not a brick.. and thus spake the pedantic hubby). It was my "rehearsal" for the race. So I did about 25 laps in my 15m apartment pool and then practised a transition (well, kind of anyway). Before I could get a laundry card from Gau's place, grey skies poured on me. Undeterred, I ran back to the gym to do the stationary bike for 45min. True to Sally Edwards' description of one's first triathlon issues, I found my legs a little wobbly after the bike ride (after averaging about 80 rpms).

I learned a couple of things. If you don't want to be stared at, avoid doing intense laps when a poolside party is going on. A little girl saw me swimming furiously across the pool and scrammed out of the way in fright. Nevertheless, I thought it was interesting to swim amidst people (not quite as interesting for them, though) and get a feel for swimming in a crowd. Another thing is that its tough to put on bike pants after your swim. So me thinks I'll stick with wearing the lycra shorts on top of my swimsuit and keeping them throughout.

Look, Ma! No floats!

2007-07-02T12:28:00.000-05:00

So I broke the news to my mum that I was doing a triathlon next week. She freaked out. Have you lost your mind? What are you trying to prove?? Why must you do this?? Not proving anything, ma, just want to see what my body is capable of doing. Besides, it's just 300m swim, 12 mile bike ride, 2 mile run..

12 MILE bike ride?? She gasped. That's crazy! So you and Arvind are doing this together? No, just me, ma, Arv has to learn to swim well. Mum was briefly amused. Have you been practising? When was the last time you swam? I told her I had joined a program to help me train. Of course, swimming in the open water would be something new..

OPEN WATER? She was shocked. Are you going to be wearing floats?? *sigh* No, ma, no floats, and no lifejackets. It's a RACE!

I could hear her marking the date mentally, and envisioning me doing a triathlon. I think she's mostly stunned because I was never athletic growing up (even when she encouraged me to try different sports). And here I am, attempting a triathlon as a personal challenge. I can barely believe it myself.

Fartleks in Missouri

2007-06-30T10:33:00.000-05:00

Well, I did it. I actually managed to follow somepart of my running routine. And discovered that hubby is a pretty brutal coach. We went running around his parents' neighbourhood - I should add it was a hilly neighbourhood, and not the easiest place to be doing fartleks. We did the 4-3-2-1 routine, and it seemed as if everytime we were running our fast pace, Arv would direct me towards a hill! "You @#$#^%!" I cursed at Arv as he ran in the direction of an uphill on our 3-min fast pace. "Doing fartleks downhill ain't gonna do you any good!" came his sharp retort. Ouch. And thus spake my wicked hubby..

I think I pushed too hard on the last minute, though. Felt a sharp pain in my chest as I raced downhill (like Forest Gump running towards the banner "Run here Forrest" in the scene at stadium). I needed a full 15-min rest period until the pain stopped. Bizzare. Don't think I'll get to do any biking or anymore running this weekend. It's been raining and chilly, and I don't have good running gear for this. :(

Been having some weird running dreams too. I dreamt that I was watching my friends (that's u people - Santhosh, Gau & Ganesh) running on the trail, and midway thru, Santhosh and another girl sat down on the trail, back-to-back, eyes closed. To my great astonishment, they started levitating across the trail. Ganesh & Gau told me, we don't tell the race directors about this part! And I thot, wow, it's no wonder Santhosh always finishes first..

Revenge of the Flippers II

2007-06-27T21:39:00.000-05:00

Flippers are not for humans, I'm sorry. They look ridiculous and are extremely brutal to ankles. I cramped again today for the first 2 drills. Fortunately, my ankles made a faster recovery this time around. The coach advised more Potassium. And water. I agree I don't drink enough water. Guess I will need to do some research on how to get more Potassium.

I ended the session today doing 250m with a 10-15s break after each lap today. Wasn't exhausted surprisingly. Including the drills & warm-up laps, the total distance comes to approx. 800m. Most of it I did in freestyle - or at least some version of it (pat on the back). Char's advice rung in my head - to kick off in freestyle, and break into breast stroke when I felt tired, and pick up on freestyle again. I might do that for the first race.

As I drove back on the picturesque 360, my mind wandered to race day. So after all this swimming, I was supposed to hop onto a bike and go about 4 times around the Velloway, and then run from roughly the Town Lake water stop to Lamar Bridge (that's how I've figured the distances). Holy cow.

I'm noticing subtle changes in physique. My fatigue must be causing hallucinations. After one week of training?! Arv assured me my calves & quads were more defined than before. Well, I hope the rest of me keeps up, or I'm going to start looking VERY weird.

Bike Mechanics & the Veloway Hill

2007-06-27T08:04:00.000-05:00

While others went off to ride on Mopac today, I stayed on the Veloway (thankfully) and did 8 miles. I had done 9 miles over the weekend, and the practice was definitely helpful. There's a horrible (but short) hill on the Veloway which I haven't been able to ride through. It caused me some anxiety and a sense of dread as I did my rounds. I've tried about 3 times now, and each time I am able to make it a little further up the hill. Geez. My boss' 8-yr-old can make it up the hill. The little guy is also doing a kid's triathlon this year (!!)

For the most part, I worked on riding curves and shifting gears. Had some trouble with gears (the small chain), and the chain popped off twice. Fortunately, some good Samaritans stopped and helped. It's pretty cool to see how nice and helpful riders are on the Veloway. When I pulled off to the side, I had several people ask me if I needed help. Might need to take it to a bike mechanic to see if it the derailer needs adjustment. Next week, our coaches are going to show us how to change a flat!

Still haven't found a bike yet. :( I've only seen about 6 bikes so far, and I'd like to see some more before I blow a tonne of money. My friend (whose bike I'm riding) - Charanya (my namesake!)- has been really awesome about lending me her hybrid. Luckily for me, she's told me to take my time to find a good bike, and to borrow hers in the interim. I'll stick with her bike for the race, most likely, and then buy a new one. It always takes time to get used to a bike, so I don't want to be riding a new bike on race day. Charanya had advised me to wear tri-pants for cycling, and I can see how that could be helpful, so I'll probably get a pair for the race next week.

First TRI

2007-06-25T08:04:00.000-05:00

WOO HOO! I've signed up for my first race!

The Rogue Women's Tri is on July 8 at Texas Ski Branch in New Braunfels. The race course is a 300m swim, 12mile bike ride and 2mile run.

My goals are:
1) Get experience swimming in open waters (!!);
2) Learn how to transition;
3) Build endurance & confidence.
This is not going to be a race for me so much as it is going to be exposure to triathlons. Exciting, exciting. They're also going to have veggie burgers for us after the race. Can I ask for more?

Week Two - reflection & anticipation

2007-06-24T22:35:00.000-05:00

Feeling good that I actually managed to adhere to the beginners' workout schedule prescribed by Liz & Lorrie. Did my long bike ride on Saturday and gained more confidence. It was pretty eventful, with my bike buddy having an accident with her bike on the Veloway, and her buddy having trouble with a bent back wheel! Thankfully both are ok. My bike buddy had gone ahead of me, and pulled off to the side after her accident. But I blissfully rode past her because I hadn't noticed her injuries (!!!), and told her casually that I wanted to do one more round before calling it a day. When I returned, I was shocked when I realized she had fallen off her bike. Golly. How oblivious can I be! Note to self: Be a better bike buddy!

The short but deadly hill on the Veloway threw me off completely. I've never tried to ride up a hill as steep as that, and only managed to climb part of the way on my 2nd attempt (before I ended up injuring myself). That's ok, though. I'm giving myself a break. I think I did pretty ok for a first week.

I nearly squirmed out of my running workout today. It was only Arv's gentle but firm reminder of my impending 1st tri race on July 8 that brought me to my senses. My man rocks. :) He has amazing discipline, and far more focus than I do. If he learnt to swim, he'd kick my butt in a triathlon. He is probably also more concerned about my well-being during my first race than I am. It's so awesome to have a supportive partner.

Couple of goals for this week:
1) Bike - practice riding curves and become more stable & comfortable with riding. Also, get a freakin' bike.
2) swim - work on freestyle breathing techniques. Stay calm in deep water, and focus ahead - don't look below.
3) make up the run workout while on vacation in Missouri.

Running Karma

2007-06-21T22:04:00.000-05:00

Poor Arv. He went biking on the Veloway yesterday and got some strange insect bite on his hand that made his hands swell (!!). Bizarre. He was so put out by his meds today that he couldn't give me his usual enthusiastic send off advice.

I never imagined saying this, but I actually felt GREAT during & after the training run today. I felt strong and could run decently, even though it was a lot more humid than I had previously run. It was also nice to finally know what drills the coaches were talking about! Grapevine, skippity hop, sideways.. it brought back memories of the cold morning when I made the decision to do a triathlon. After our warm-up run, Liz said to me, "That was a pretty speedy easy run! What was your time for your half-marathon?" So as it turns out, the suffering I went through the half-marathon training is actually paying off.

I've also gotten to know a few of the people in the bike/run group. They seem really nice. I took up Stephanie's offer to do the long bike ride together on Saturday with a friend of hers. I ran with Renee during the fast pace & recovery (in all, a 30-min run), and learnt that her husband is also a running fan like Arv. The small group (compared to the Half-marathon group) makes it easier to interact with people. I'm eager to learn everyone's triathlon stories. Pretty inspiring.

I'm glad to end off the training this week on a good note. Quite frankly, after yesterday's swim, I felt like the only competent physical activity I could do was drive my car to work (thankfully no issues there). A STEEP learning curve lies ahead in the coming weeks. But after hitting such lows this week, things can only get better..

When Reality Sinks In..

2007-06-20T22:20:00.000-05:00

From the title, it's plain that my first swim training session did not go well. I was late, rushed, and got lost.. Was late leaving work, hunted for my goggles high & low to no avail, and finally Arv literally pushed me out the door (just use the old googles, you'll be fine... whatever, honey) so I wouldn't be any later than I already was. Note to self: get more organized!

Right when I arrived, everyone had got their set of flippers (!!!) and buoy, and were getting ready to set off on their laps. The first 10 min was just plain swimming, in our most comfortable stroke. I started doing my first 25yard lap when my goggles (the ones which I got last summer from Wal-mart when I spent many a jobless day doing laps in the 15m apartment swimming pool) collapsed on me - fogged and leaked all at once. I discovered I was better at manoeuvring with one hand while swimming than while biking. So although it was still a battle with the goggles for a while, it could have been worse, I suppose. Well, then it got worse. The straps slipped out. Urgh. While the coach gave advice, only 50% of my attention was on him, the other half of my brain focused on resuscitating my googles. I'm done with Walmart. And with these lousy goggles.

Swimming with flippers was a complete nightmare! I don't see how it is easier to swim in those darn things. My leg cramped within the first 10 yards and I swam to the side to nurse my ankle. I took a good 40 yards to get used to them. My ankles are still hurting. :( The other swimmers made it look all very effortless. Yesterday's embarrassment followed me throughout today's training. Swimming was supposed to be my strength. And so it was... until I discovered the program would only teach freestyle (which I renounced at the age of 14 because it was too tiresome. Breastroke became my 2nd nature) Geez. It's like someone shut off the light at the end of the tunnel.

I've hit SUCH a low, that things can only get better.

And the Rookie Jumps Right In

2007-06-20T00:20:00.001-05:00

As I got ready to go for my first bike training session, I expressed my trepidation to Arv. I had seen him ride effortlessly around the parking lot the night before while I barely made it through 100m. I told him he should be the one doing this triathlon. Or maybe we could do a relay together. Arv took one look at me and said, sure we'll do a relay.. after your triathlon program. Thanks, honey. Arv packed me off to my training with Neo-esque advice - There IS no bike. Gotta love my man.

Then I discovered at the first session today that in my class of 20-odd athletes, I'm the only one who didn't know how to work the gears on a bike. Blast. I must have missed the part in the training program write-up which said only former triathletes need apply. :)

I also discovered that out of the 20-odd people, only 6 of us considered ourselves as beginners (out of which at least two mooted the idea of whether they were really intermediate rather than beginners). Out of them, I am the only one who's never done a triathlon. That said, the group people seem really nice. One of them offered to explain to me how gears work. Another talked to me about how just 3 months ago, she was struggling with swimming & biking, but that she eventually made it through the Rookie triathlon.

My coaches were also very encouraging. I had the pleasure of being the sole person to be accompanied by BOTH my coaches around Veloway. (It was like being 12 years old again. Only the training wheels were missing.) I hadn't rode a bike for a decent distance i.e. more than 200 m in at least 10 years. And it showed. While the other cyclists whizzed past me, I wobbled through my first mile. I couldn't once take my eyes off the road and make eye contact with Liz, my coach, who was riding beside me.

Liz guided me through the gears, and how to manoeuvre around the curves. Thankfully, it was a fairly uneventful ride - no drama of falling by the wayside. She promised I would get better with practice. Lorrie asked me if I would be back for next week's training. :)

I probably should feel a lot worse than I do. Inspite of being the lone rookie in my group, my excitement hasn't taken a hit. I'm still happy to be here. And you know - ignorance is bliss.

The Day Before Week One

2007-06-18T22:35:00.001-05:00

So here I am. Still wondering how I got here. (the triathlon & the blog, I mean) A day away from the first training session for my first Triathlon. I am still not sure if it's really happening.. if I REALLY signed up for this. But it feels good, even if it is a dream..

The story begins on a cold early wet morning in November as I did sprints around the Austin High track during my training for my first half-marathon (a remarkable event mostly because it was my first EVER attempt at anything remotely athletic). I had signed up for the program with my hubby, Arv. In fact but for him, there would have been no half-marathon for me, let alone a triathlon. His interest in Asha for Education & the marathon training program fueled my enthusiasm. An important detour in the story, but I'll return to my point.

On this particularly chilly, drizzly, fall/winter morning, as I huffed and puffed through the sprints, the banality of the routine struck me deeply. Not like training for a triathlon, I thought. Loads more fun, given the variety of activities. I reflected on that thought in surprise. Did I just think that? What made me think of training for a triathlon? I was barely making it through the half-marathon training program, and yet the excitement of a triathlon already gripped me. The triathlon seed floated stealthily into my mind and took root on that day. Soon, I could't wait for the half-marathon to be over so that I could start looking out for a tri to do.

That would be my next big thing.

And the blog? Another one of those things that popped into my head which I decided to go with.