Friday, July 15, 2016

A Walk in the Park

Wow, has it been 5 years since my last post?

I'm now a mom of 2 kids - an infant and a toddler - and my adventure as an athlete feels like a vague dream.  Pregnancy, delivery and postpartum have been brutal on my body, particularly the second one when I had a traumatic emergency c-section resulting in a preemie baby in NICU for 10 weeks.  I spent 11 days in hospital due to complications. I was forced to take rest for 2 months, and avoid lifting heavy objects and strenuous exercise. Now in month 5 of postpartum, I still am not allowed to swim or do ab-related workouts. The physical and emotional turmoil left me battle scarred.

During this time, my instincts were to take care of my baby, not myself.  Even though I was so fortunate to have strong support from friends and family who looked after me, I still engaged in anxiety-eating. Food was my comfort, my balm for the long days and nights I spent caring for my preemie, and helped me stay strong during the roller coaster experience that was the NICU. It was something I looked forward to at a time when things were unpleasant, and it was constant at a time when things were uncertain. I thought NICU was my marathon. But I was wrong.  NICU turned out to be a mile marker on a much longer marathon in regards to my son's health. I'm still running that marathon. 

The other day, I ran upstairs to attend to my infant, and I felt out of breath.  Two nights ago, I broke a sweat while having a mini-dance party with my toddler. As a 40-year-old mom of young kids, I realized I need to shape up if I want to enjoy their active childhood.  And so, I can no longer continue this sedentary, unhealthy lifestyle of mindless eating and sleep deprivation. 

As this realization is setting in, it seems as though the Universe is sending me signs.  Lately, I feel a new chapter opening up. I was reminded by this video how sport has transformed me, anchored me, and brought me to a higher understanding of myself.  And after 5 years of chartering the uncertain, tumultuous world of pregnancy and parenthood, I'm ready to get back to fitness and find my ground again.

So, today I dusted off my running shoes (literally) and took a walk in the park. It was an uneventful 40-min walk. It was hot. I panted and perspired. And it felt SO good to take the first step of my journey back to fitness.