An avid reader of my blog complained that my last entry had "no drama". So, isn't that a good thing, I thought to myself incredulously.
It also struck me that perhaps it's because I'm starting to feel drained.. a kind of "blah" feeling.. a "what-is-this-for?" feeling.. a "have-I-got-my-priorities-right" feeling... It seems like my training dictates my life right now, not just my schedule. In fact, I've re-arranged my work schedule so that I can get enough rest, do regular house chores etc. I'm quite a social creature and love having people over. But with my lack of time & energy, my social life has slowed down. I haven't had time to read, prepare for Chinmaya Yuva Kendra classes, meditate, do yoga.. do all of the things that are important to me.
For what? So I can swim, bike, run 10min faster than I did before...?
I guess not. My best friend, Megs, theorized that the reason I put myself through this is because I have certain vasanas that needed to be expressed. Probably true. The desire to do a TRI was certainly latent, and has suddenly found expression in the most surprising way.
I guess the point is to see what I can really do. To test my assumptions of myself. To see if my mind can go beyond accepted perceptions of myself and be challenged to consider new perspectives of what I can do, and who I am. For that, I'll swim-bike-run, do whatever it takes. To TRI, to unearth the real me.
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3 comments:
THIS IS FREAKY. I just finished my latest blog and jump over here and find out that you have expressed similar sentiments!!!
Sharanya, I promise you that once you cross that finish line on Sunday it will all be very clear. I have rarely felt such a sense of accomplishment as when I complete these CRAZY races knowing that I am there as a result of sheer personal will and determination. You have had a rough week but you are so strong! I can't wait to see you at that finish line.
Three words - "Just do it"
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